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Al Pacino & Arnold Schwarzenegger call a Crazy Sick Old Man
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

Chuko

Soundboard(s) used

Al Pacino, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chinaman

Victim(s)

Crazy Sick Old Man

Length

4:46

In one of the most popular celebrity prank calls of all time, Al Pacino, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Chinaman call an angry man who is in his 70's, lives in a house with "sick people" and claims to have recorded all of their calls, while informing the trio that he called the police on them. This is the call that gave rise to the victim who is now known as the Crazy Sick Old Man.

Interestingly, in the beginning of the call, CSOM made some effort to keep his explosive temper in check and actually tried to reason with Pacino before calling the police and threatening to break his neck. When Pacino called him back, CSOM's tone became more hostile and would remain so for the rest of the calls.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

Crazy Sick Old Man: Hello?
Al Pacino: Hello.
Crazy Sick Old Man: Who's calling?
Al Pacino: Guess who.
Crazy Sick Old Man: Who?
Al Pacino: John.
Crazy Sick Old Man: John who?
Al Pacino: Jim.
Al Pacino: GUESS who.
Crazy Sick Old Man: Huh?
Al Pacino: Guess who...
Al Pacino: Hello?
Crazy Sick Old Man: [unintelligible]
Al Pacino: Hey.
Crazy Sick Old Man: [unintelligible]
Al Pacino: You just cost me $6,000.
Crazy Sick Old Man: Hello?
Al Pacino: $6,000.
Crazy Sick Old Man: What was..what did? What are you talking about sir?
Al Pacino: Don't fuck with me fella'. I'm talking about a fucking Cadillac car that you owe me.
Crazy Sick Old Man: You got the wrong buddy, idiot.
Al Pacino: $6,000, and one Cadillac.
Crazy Sick Old Man: You got the wrong person.
Al Pacino: Well answer me!
Al Pacino: $6,000.
Crazy Sick Old Man: Hey. Number one, don't threaten me, I'll break your neck. Number two, you got the wrong Jim: I'm not...have nothing to do with cars. So what you need to do is, apologize, number one. Number two, change your damn attitude, 'cause one of these days, you're gonna get ahold of somebody and then you're gonna meet that person and they're gonna break your freakin' neck. So, goodbye, sir. Make sure you get the right person next time.
Al Pacino: What? You can't do what?
Crazy Sick Old Man: You've got the WRONG person. I have nothing to do with Cadillac...or six thousand dollars or anything else.
Al Pacino: Are you talking to me?
Crazy Sick Old Man: No, I'm not going to talk to ya' at all. I don't have anything to do with cars. I-I don't- I work for security. I have nothing to do with what you're talking about.
Al Pacino: TO HELP US! NOT TO FUCK US UP!
Crazy Sick Old Man: [unintelligible]...working there for 45 years.
Al Pacino: TO HELP MEN WHO ARE GOING OUT THERE TO TRY TO EARN A LIVING! YOU FAIRY!
Crazy Sick Old Man: [*hangs up*]
Al Pacino: YOU COMPANY MAN!


Call #2

[*phone rings*]
Al Pacino: Hey.
Crazy Sick Old Man: ...
Al Pacino: $6,000.
Crazy Sick Old Man: FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! Oh son, I'll hunt you down and I'll break your neck. You call here again...! This house if full of sick people. You call here again and I'll fuckin' hunt you down and I'll- Al Pacino: Are you talking to me?
Crazy Sick Old Man: -break your stinkin', motherfuckin' neck! Get off my phone, leave me alone!
Al Pacino: Fuck you.
Crazy Sick Old Man: You goddamn crotchety old prick, fuckhead!
Al Pacino: Fuck you. I don't want to hear any fucking shit and I don't give a shit.
Crazy Sick Old Man: Come say that to my face! Come say that to my face, you wrinkled piece of SHIT! Come say it to my face! I'll KILL YOU you cocksucker!
Al Pacino: Does that seem clear to you?
Crazy Sick Old Man: [*hangs up*]


Call #3

[*phone rings*]

Al Pacino: Oh what a big man you are. Hey let me buy you a pack a gum. I'll show you how to chew it.
Crazy Sick Old Man: The police have been called...the police have been called...STINKIN' FUCKIN' FOREIGN, COCKSUCKIN', *static* GODDAMN ILLEGAL MOTHERFUCKER! Get out of my face!
Al Pacino: Well answer me!
Crazy Sick Old Man: I've already called the police and turned over your number to em' and hope you're in jail soon because I've recorded these conversations. You stinkin' mother fuckin' shriviled prick. [*hangs up*]


Call #4

[*phone rings*]

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Good morning!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Crazy Sick Old Man: I'm gonna kill you!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Excuse me, I have a few more questions if you don't mind.
Crazy Sick Old Man: Go to hell, you PRICK! [*hangs up*]


Call #5

[*phone rings*]
Crazy Sick Old Man: ...make sure you spend the rest of life in jail fucker.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Stop whining!
Crazy Sick Old Man: Listen to me...YOU'RE THE ONE WHINING YOU STINKIN', GODDAMN ACCENTED PRICK!!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want them answered immediately.
Crazy Sick Old Man: YOU FUCKING FOREIGNER!!! Go home! We hate you here in America! GO HOME!!! GO HOME!!! WE HATE YOU HERE!!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'd like to talk to you about Thomas Aquinas.
Crazy Sick Old Man: You goddamn people that can't even speak unbroken English! GET OUT!!! GET OUT!!! Take your Cadillac and shove it up your wife's ass! She's a fuckin' whore! [*hangs up*]


Call #6 (final)

[*phone rings*]
Crazy Sick Old Man: Hello?
Chinaman: What's your name?
Crazy Sick Old Man: Who the fuck are you again, you cocksucker??!
Chinaman: How you spell? Can you spell the name for me? Can you spell the name??!
Crazy Sick Old Man: Look here, you piece of shit, come the phone company being open tomorrow, I'm gonna find your fuckin' ass, and then I'm gonna KILL your fuckin' ass. I was so sick yesterday, well you kept up your calls, you kept up your calls...well, I've already turned over three different phone numbers that popped-up to the police department and to the phone company. Ya call here again and so help me God, when they find out who it is, I will PERSONALLY cut your throat!
Chinaman: I don't understand. Can you please say again?
Crazy Sick Old Man: Leave me alone you piece of FOREIGN FUCKING GARBAGE!!!
Chinaman: How you spell?
Crazy Sick Old Man: You understand me? Do you understand me you piece of shit?!
Chinaman: Can you spell the name for me? Can you spell the name??!
Crazy Sick Old Man: I told you to shove your Cadillac up your fucking wife's ass! You understand me? You understand me??!
Chinaman: Hwa- can you please say again so I can hear?
Crazy Sick Old Man: You understand me punk?
Chinaman: Can you please say again?
Crazy Sick Old Man: Do not call this number again you piece of SHIT!
Chinaman: Who?
Crazy Sick Old Man: I will make sure you spend your life in jail! I'm a very sick man and I'm in my 70's! Ya keep this up and I'll...so help me God, I'll make sure you're jailed. Leave this phone number alone!
Chinaman: And what the last name?
Crazy Sick Old Man: And shove your Cadillac up your ugly wife's ass.
Chinaman: I call the borise?
Crazy Sick Old Man: [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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