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Arnold Schwarzenegger calls Amazon
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

LuckSkyHard

Soundboard(s) used

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Victim(s)

Male victims

Length

5:27

Arnold makes an abusive prank call to Amazon.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

[*phone rings*]
Jason: Thank you for calling Amazon.com. My name is Jason. Can I get your order number or e-mail address please?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now listen to me very carefully...just do what I tell you. Give me your address there.
Jason: (pause) I'm sorry?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Sarah Connor? I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. I was told that she's here. Where is she?
Jason: May I know who I'm speaking with sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Give me your address there. Just do what I tell you. Trust me. (pause) Give me your address there.
Jason: ...
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What's the matter?
Jason: Thank you for calling Amazon.com. My name is Jason. Can I get your order number or e-mail address please?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Negative. Now listen to me very carefully...give me your address there.
Jason: Y-you keep on saying those words sir. I-I'll have no other option but to terminate the call.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT! Stop whining! Let me talk to your mother. Get your mother please.
Jason: Sir, why do you need to talk to my mother?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why not? You lack discipline!
Jason: I don't have to have discipline sir. Ok, I don't have- actually I have already told you I'm going to terminate this call.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son-of-a-bitch! STOP IT! I hope you left room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!
Jason: Thank you for caling Amazon.com. Have a nice day and a good evening.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: SO SHUT UP! (pause) Fuck you. So don't give me that crap.
Jason: [*hangs up*]

Call #2

[*phone rings*]
Jason: Thank you for calling Amazon.com. My name is Jason. Can I get your order number or e-mail address please?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Good morning. How are you?
Jason: Good morning. I'm fine.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Jason: I'm fine sir.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Jason: How about you?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes. (slight pause) Who are you?
Jason: Sir, I'm Jason.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Jason: May, may I know who I'm speaking with?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimble! I'm a cop, you idiot!
Jason: I'm sorry?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm a cop, you idiot! Hey, I'm a police officer. Nice to meet you.
[Jason puts the call on speakerphone]
Jason: Nice to-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice to meet you.
Jason: Nice to meet you too.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
[Employees laughing in the background. A female co-worker mimicks Arnold.]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want them answered immediately.
Jason: Ok, what, what kind of questions do you want to ask me? Ask me.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Stop whining! You lack discipline!
Jason: I'm sorry?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah. Who is it this time? What's your real name?
Jason: My name is Jason.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now whatever your name is ... get ready for the big surprise. One of us is in deep trouble.
Jason: [Unintelligible]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: First, I would like to just get to know you. Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want them answered immediately. Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
Jason: (talking to someone in the background) It doesn't know any other shit but that. You, you-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
[Employees laughing in the background]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son-of-a-bitch! Stop whining! You lack discipline! STOP IT! (pause) Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
Jason: My father's dead.
[A female employee is heard giggling in the background]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon, don't bullshit me.
Jason: Sir, if you keep on using those words I-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Tell me the truth. You owe me that much.
Jason: -I'll have no choice but to terminate the call.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You know you're lying.
Jason: I'm not lying sir.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: And you expect me to believe you? Listen to me very carefully...
Jason: [Unintelligible]..keep on calling me so...I'm sorry for that.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: YES!
Jason: Thank you for calling Amazon.com.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You must be very proud of yourself.
Jason: Have a nice day and a good evening.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: SO SHUT UP!
Jason: [*hangs up*]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Fuck you.


Call #3 (final)

Vic: Thank you for calling Amazon.com. My name is Vic. Can I get your order number or e-mail address please?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Good morning. How are you?
Vic: Fine.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Vic: (louder) Fine.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Good.
[Employees laughing in the background]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hello cutie pie. (slight pause) Hello everybody.
Vic: Hello.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Vic: Yes, so how can I help you today?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Adam Gibson.
Vic: What's that again?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Adam Gibson.
Vic: I can't understand you sir.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimble! John Kimble! (pause) Who are you?
Vic: What's that again sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you? What do you want? What's the matter?
Vic: I'm sorry sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What's the matter? I want to know what's going on and I want to know right now!
Vic: Ok, can you say that again sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Are you out of your mind?! You want to fuck with me? Stop being such a pussy!
[Employees laughing in the background]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice to meet you. Good morning. Good morning.
Vic: ...
Arnold Schwarzenegger: YES!
Vic: ...
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I need a vacation. Who is it this time?
Vic: I'm Batman.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Correct. (pause) I hope you left room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!
Vic: Ok, thank you for calling Amazon.com. Have a good day.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Fuck you asshole.
Vic: [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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