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Arnold Schwarzenegger calls Wisconsin

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Arnold Schwarzenegger calls Wisconsin
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

AntiVenom9808

Soundboard(s) used

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Victim(s)

Wisconsin Family

Length

3:37

Detective John Kimball calls a family in Wisconsin to talk to them about Thomas Aquinas, and they refuse to show him any respect. This call is widely considered to be on of, if not the best Arnold Schwarzenegger calls of 2009, and remains extremely popular to this day.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

Son: Hello?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Good morning! How are you?
Son: Uhh...I think you got the wrong number.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: And you expect me to believe you? Now, I'm going to ask you a-
Son: Who is this?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: -bunch of questions and I want them answered immediately.
Son: Who is this?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimball.
Son: John?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah. [pause] Hey, I'm a police officer.
Son: I think you got the wrong phone number dude.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No. Negative.
Son: I think you do.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No. Hey, I'm a police officer.
Son: Dude. [pause] Police officer?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Son: Uhh...what's this regards for?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I would like to talk to you about Thomas Aquinas.
Son: Uhh...I don't know what the hell that is.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: And you expect me to believe you? You know you're lying.
Son: Dude, you don't even sound like a police officer.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why not?
Son: Because the way you talk. Cause' you don't sound like no damn police officer to me.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon, don't bullshit me.
Son: You want me to get real cops on you 'cause I will.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You expect me to believe you?
Son: You'd..you'll want to.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Son: You better tell me what your real damn name is because I'm gonna' get real cops on you and there gonna' be looking for you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: John Kimball!
Son: That's not your real name! I've never heard of a last name named Kimball.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Son: Dude!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Son: [*hangs up*]


Call #2 (final)

[*phone rings*]
Son: Hello?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Son: Dude!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Son: What do you want?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'd like to talk to you about Thomas Aquinas.
Son: Thomas employment?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Son: What is that?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want them answered immediately.
Son: What are they?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you want? What do we gotta' do?
Son: What are the questions?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do we gotta' do?
Son: WHAT are the damn questions?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Are you going to help me now or not?
Son: W-what?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You want names and addresses?
Son: Of what?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Thomas Aquinas.
Son: [talking to someone in the background] No. Who in the hell is this guy?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimball.
Son: [talking to someone in the background] It's John Kimball. I don't know who the hell it is. I've..[unintelligible]
Mother: Who is this?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimball.
Mother: What is this regarding?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Thomas Aquinas.
Mother: I have no idea-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Mother: -what you are talking about.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why not?
Mother: And this is no time to be calling people about anything.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why not?
Mother: So..you quit calling here or we're gonna' have something, uh, done about this. Now quit calling- Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon, don't bullshit me. Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions, and I want them answered immediately.
Mother: About what?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Thomas Aquinas. [pause] What's the matter?
Mother: Quit calling..quit calling here.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you mean "we"?
Mother: I said quit calling here.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm just doing my job.
Mother: What job is that? Harassing people at this time-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hey, I'm a police officer. [pause] I'm a cop you idiot!
Son: What?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hey, I'm a police officer.
Son: YOU ain't no DAMN police officer.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Come on. Don't bullshit me.
Son: YOU better quit calling here or I swear to friggin' God I'm gonna' get a damn policeman, officer, I..um..[talking to someone in the background] Hang on a second Ma, no, hang on..[unintelligible]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Do you expect me to believe you?
Son: YEAH, you expect to believe me.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Really inconsiderate.
Son: Yeah, god-damn straight you do.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You used to be somebody I could trust.
Son: Who?! [talking to someone in the background] No, it ain't Melissa.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimball.
Son: No, it ain't John Kimball. And you better quit calling over here or hopefully you get a damn district, uh, district..um..police officer sent to your house.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why not?
Son: Call here..call here one more fuckin' time. I dare you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: This man is totally insane.
Son: Try calling here one more god-damn time.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: This must be what they mean by...poetic justice.
Son: Dude.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Son: You understand what the hell I'm saying?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Son: "How are you?" Shut the hell up and don't call here.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why not?
Son: [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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