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Arnold Schwarzenegger calls a Vacation Telemarketer
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Celebrity Prank Call

Prank Caller

Soundboard(s) used

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Victim

female vacation telemarketer

Length

6:32

For Arnold Fest '08, Arnold Schwarzenegger called a vacation telemarketer.

TranscriptEdit

(Phone rings)
Vacation Telemarketer:
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Good morning.
Telemarketer: Good morning.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Telemarketer: Good, how are you, sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Good. (exhausted) I need a vacation.
Telemarketer: (Fake laugh)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (Laugh)
Telemarketer: Alright, sir. Um, if you could look above your name and address on the pamphlet you just received, there should be a priority reservation code. Could you please read that off to me, sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Telemarketer: Okay.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: 7171177711.
Telemarketer: I'm sorry?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: 717117--
Telemarketer: (Interrupting) It should start with an NRH.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No, it is not true.
Telemarketer: Yes, it's a priority reservation code. NRH, and then some numbers, and then a dash, and then some other numbers.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Are you going to help me now or not?
Telemarketer: Yes, sir, I'm trying to, I just need that number.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes. 7171177711.
Telemarketer: That's not the right number, sir.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Bullshit.
Telemarketer: Did you get a postcard or a letter, sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I don't know.
Telemarketer: You don't know?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No.
Telemarketer: Is there no letter in front of you?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No.
Telemarketer: Did you not receive one in the mail?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes.
Telemarketer: And you don't have the letter or postcard with you?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No.
Telemarketer: Okay, well call back when you do and give me that priority reservation code above your name and address on the paper, okay?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I don't play that game. Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions.
Telemarketer: Sir, I can't answer any other questions if I don't know what I'm talking about, unless I can pull up your record.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you?
Telemarketer: My name is (bleep).
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you want?
Telemarketer: Sir, you called me.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes. What do you want from me?
Telemarketer: Sir, I don't want anything with you. I'm here to help you, I don't know--I guess I don't understand your question.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Are you going to help me now or not?
Telemarketer: What can I help you with, sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (exhausted) I need a vacation.
Telemarketer: Okay, I can appreciate that, sir. I do understand that you need a vacation, but I can't help you unless you give me that priority reservation code.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon, don't bullshit me.
Telemarketer: Okay, sir, I'm not.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Listen to me very carefully. (singing) Take out the papers and the trash. Or you don't get no spending cash. If you don't scrub that kitchen floor. You ain't gonna rock and roll no more. Yakety Yak, don't talk back. (speaking) Now I'm go--
Telemarketer: (Interrupting) I'm sorry, sir. I do have a job to do. I cannot sin on the phone with you. You need your priority reservation code. Now, if you can give that to me, do so. If not, you can try back another time.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What about the guy you lobotomized? Did he get a refund?
Telemarketer: I'm sorry?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What is this business about going to the movies at midnight when you knew your mother would be worried?
Telemarketer: I can't understand you, sir.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What the hell were you thinking?
Telemarketer: Excuse me?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Do you want to fuck with me?
Telemarketer: I'm sorry?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you?
Telemarketer: Who are you, sir?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm smart, unlike someone we know.
Telemarketer: Who?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Douglas Quaid.
Telemarketer: You're Dennis Quaid?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes. How are you?
Telemarketer: Who am I?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No. Do you think funny, huh!?
Telemarketer: Umm, I'm not understanding you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: First, I would like to just get to know you.

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