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Arnold Schwarzenegger calls the Drunk Guy

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Arnold Schwarzenegger calls the Drunk Guy
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

Unknown

Soundboard(s) used

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Victim(s)

Drunk Guy

Length

3:16

One of the most popular celebrity prank calls ever, Arnold Schwarzenegger calls a Drunk Guy. Judging by the man's behavior and responses, he had way too much to drink.

TranscriptEdit



[*phone rings*]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hello, cutie pie!
Drunk Guy: Whose there? (groans)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy, stranger.
Drunk Guy: What?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: This is Hauser.
Drunk Guy: Howza?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Drunk Guy: How are you?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice to meet you.
Drunk Guy: Nice to meet you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: First, I would just like to get to know you.
Drunk Guy: What?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: (laughs) That's amazing. Where are we?
Drunk Guy: Really what?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you?
Drunk Guy: Who are YOU?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you?
Drunk Guy: Who are YOU?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hey, I'm a police officer.
Drunk Guy: Your a what?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimble!
Drunk Guy: (slurs words) You're a Detective John Kimble?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk Guy: Your a Detective John Kimble?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Correct.
Drunk Guy: What are you after me for?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes.
Drunk Guy: "Yes" what?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: One of us is in .. deep trouble.
Drunk Guy: I'm not in any trouble. I didn't do anything wrong.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you want?
Drunk Guy: I want Stevenson Dreamland to come to life.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What's the matter?
Drunk Guy: (groans)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Well I hope you left enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach!
Drunk Guy: My stomach's where?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon, don't bullshit me.
Drunk Guy: Where's my stomach at?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Just do what I tell you.
Drunk Guy: What do you want?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Don't be ridiculous.
Drunk Guy: NO, I am not gonna' do what you tell me. My name- I am writing music, I'm going to be a successful musician, an' I'm gonna' say "fuck all you people".
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now what ever your name is, get ready for the big surprise.
Drunk Guy: What's the big surprise? I gotta' know what the big surprise is!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son-of-a-bitch!
Drunk Guy: I am NOT a son-of-a-bitch! What are ya' callin' me a son-of-a-bitch for?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon baby. You know you're the girl of my dreams.
Drunk Guy: I am not the girl- Oh, uh, fuck you! I am not the girl of your fuckin' dreams!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son-of-a-bitch!
Drunk Guy: I AM NOT A SON-OF-A-BITCH!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You must be very proud of yourself.
Drunk Guy: YOU son-of-a-bitch!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT!
Drunk Guy: YOU'RE the one whose a son-of-a-bitch now!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT! (pause) Stop whining.
Drunk Guy: Who in the hell is this?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Just do what I tell you.
Drunk Guy: What?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes.
Drunk Guy: What do you want me to do?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk Guy: (laughs) I am not a cop...you idiot.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What's the matter?
Drunk Guy: Nothing's the matter.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon, don't bullshit me.
Drunk Guy: I'm gonna' write my fuckin' music. And that's it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT! Stop whining.
Drunk Guy: I'm NOT fuckin' whining. Son-of-a-bitch.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son-of-a-bitch!
Drunk Guy: YOU son-of-a-bitch. I am NOT a son-of-a-bitch!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son-of-a-bitch!
Drunk Guy: I am gonna' get my Dad, my Dad works for the telephone company, he's gonna' find out who in the fuck is doin' this.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT!
Drunk Guy: No there's no stoppin' about it. I'm gonna' find out whose-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT!
Drunk Guy: My Dad works for the telephone company. He WILL get into the fuckin' ANY circuit that you're fuckin' incapable of!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT!
Drunk Guy: Well fuck you. Who is this?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon baby.
Drunk Guy: What?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You know you're the girl of my dreams.
Drunk Guy: I am not the fuckin'- FUCK YOU!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimble!
Drunk Guy: I am NOT Detective John Kimble!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk Guy: You fuckin'- you're the fuckin' idiot! I am NOT-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why not?
Drunk Guy: -a fuckin' cop.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you want?
Drunk Guy: What DO YOU fuckin' want?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What's the matter?
Drunk Guy: Nothing's the fuckin' matter. Where you at [unintelligible]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Well you must be very proud of yourself.
Drunk Guy: I am not .. very proud of myself.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Stop whining.
Drunk Guy: You son-of-a-bitch. [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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