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Arnold Schwarzenegger calls the Drunk Guy again
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Celebrity Prank Call

Prank Caller

Soundboard(s) used

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Victim

Drunk Guy

Length

4:31

Arnold Schwarzenegger calls back the Drunk Guy. He can get into anything that you're incapable of!

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hello cutie pie.
Drunk Guy: Oh, God damn it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: First, I would like to just get to know you.
Drunk Guy: Well how would you get to know me? Son of a bitch.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you want? [pause] What's the matter?
Drunk Guy: You son of a bitch!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Don't be ridiculous.
Drunk Guy: I'll say "you son of a bitch" if I want to.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT! [pause] You son of a bitch.
Drunk Guy: Now how in the hell would you get to know me?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Stop whining!
Drunk Guy: Huh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you want?
Drunk Guy: What do YOU want? [pause] I don't want anything.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hey, I'm a police officer.
Drunk Guy: I'm just trying to talk to the DJs an' have em' play some music. Mum-ma-maybe you'd like to hear...m-maybe you'd like to hear...et cetera et cetera.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you?
Drunk Guy: Who are you?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes.
Drunk Guy: Yeah, who the fuck are you?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimble!
Drunk Guy: Ohh, Detective John Kimble. (sarcastic)
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger. This is Hauser.
Drunk Guy: I'll tell ya'..I'll tell you Detective John Kimble.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions.
Drunk Guy: You can sit there and you can fuckin' bite my fuckin' ass. I didn't do anything fuckin' wrong.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who is it this time?
Drunk Guy: Who the hell am I talkin' to?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm a cop, you idiot!
Drunk Guy: You're not a fuckin' cop.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: My CPU is a neural net processor. A learning computer.
Drunk Guy: I don't even HAVE a fucking computer!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son of a bitch.
Drunk Guy: You son of a bitch!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Stop whining!
Drunk Guy: I wanna' talk to someone in command.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions.
Drunk Guy: I want to talk to SOMEBODY in command!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm Detective John Kimble
Drunk Guy: I want to talk to somebody in command!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Wrong.
Drunk Guy: Well...fuck you!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Drunk Guy: Yeah.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: One of us is in ... deep trouble.
Drunk Guy: Oh, fuck you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you want?
Drunk Guy: (quickly) I wanna' talk to someone in command.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What's the matter?
Drunk Guy: Ohh...you fucker!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon, don't bullshit me.
Drunk Guy: YOU'RE bullshitin' me!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Don't be ridiculous. [pause] Now whatever your name is ... get ready for the big surprise.
Drunk Guy: Alex Spider.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Come on baby-
Drunk Guy: Alex Spider.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: -you know you're the girl of my dreams.
Drunk Guy: I am...oh Jesus Christ.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son of a bitch.
Drunk Guy: YOU son of a bitch!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You must be very proud of yourself.
Drunk Guy: Oh no I'm not.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT!
Drunk Guy: You son of a bitch I ain't sure as hell...I am not! You son of a bitch.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger. This is Hauser.
Drunk Guy: There is no fuckin' Hauser here.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you? Nice to meet you.
Drunk Guy: I want to talk to Alex Spider an' I wanna' talk to Stevenson Dreamland an' I want to talk to-to em' all!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: First, I would like to just get to know you.
Drunk Guy: Well fuck you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who is your Daddy and what does he do?
Drunk Guy: My fuckin' Daddy was a fuckin' dick, didn't believe [in me] in anything, and that why I am the way I am today.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you?
Drunk Guy: Who are YOU?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Negative.
Drunk Guy: Fucker. [groans] Ohh...oh...[unintelligible]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What do you want?
Drunk Guy: WHAT do YOU want? [pause] What do you fuckin' want?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I hope you left-
Drunk Guy: WHAT DO YOU FUCKIN' WANT...FROM ME?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now whatever your name is-
Drunk Guy: Ohh, Stevenson Dreamland. [unintelligible]..Stevenson Dreamland. JC BLAST.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son of a bitch.
Drunk Guy: Oh no no no no no.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son of a bitch.
Drunk Guy: YOU son of a bitch!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Just do what I tell you.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: C'mon, don't bullshit me.
Drunk Guy: I'm gonna' bullshit you an' fuck you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: STOP IT!
Drunk Guy: I'm either JC BLAST...and that's it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice to meet you.
Drunk Guy: Well-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who is it this time?
Drunk Guy: You're talkin' to Stevenson Dreamland.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Correct.
Drunk Guy: What'd I say?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yes.
Drunk Guy: What'd I say?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah.
Drunk Guy: WHAT DID I SAY?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: One of us is in ... deep trouble.
Drunk Guy: What did I say?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Don't be ridiculous.
Drunk Guy: [groans]
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You son of a bitch.
Drunk Guy: (sigh) Alright.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Don't...say "howdy stranger" to me.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: I wrote a song. The lyrics...are in the works. It's gonna win me some money. An' I'm gonna' need some exposure. So...fuck you.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Well, fuck you stranger!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you stranger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you stranger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you stranger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you stranger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you stranger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you stranger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you stranger!!
Drunk Guy: I wanna' talk to somebody...civilized.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you stranger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Howdy stranger.
Drunk Guy: Fuck you stranger.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Drunk Guy: How are you?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Drunk Guy: How are you?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Drunk Guy: Fucker.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you?
Drunk Guy: You-you you're being a motherfucker here.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now, I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions.
Drunk Guy: I ain't askin' you shit. [pause] Hello?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who is it this time?
Drunk Guy: Hello?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you?
Drunk Guy: Hello?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who are you?
Drunk Guy: Hello?!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Goodbye. [*hangs up*]
[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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