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Charlie Sheen calls Alcoholics Anonymous
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

AntiVenom9808

Soundboard(s) used

Charlie Sheen

Victim(s)

Alcoholics Anonymous

Length

1:39

Charlie Sheen calls Alcoholics Anonymous and insults their procedures and low success rate. He also refuses to waste any of his precious time on them.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

[*phone rings*]
AA operator #1: Alcoholics Anonymous, (censored) speaking.
Charlie Sheen: Uh, this, this, this, this, this.. (sighs) This bootleg cult, uh, you know arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports like a 5 percent success rate. You do not have the right to judge me. Boom.
AA operator #1: Ok.
Charlie Sheen: My success rate is 100 percent. Because I will not-I will not waste my precious time on-on-on-on such ridiculous nonsense.
AA operator #1:Ok. Thank you very much. [*hangs up*]

Call #2 (final)

[*phone rings*]
AA operator #2: Alcoholics Anonymous, I-I'm sorry to do this. Can I put you on hold?
Charlie Sheen: Yeah.
AA operator #2: Thank you. Sorry about this.
[*Call is put on hold*]
AA operator #2: Hi. Sorry about that. Thanks for holding.
Charlie Sheen: I'm tired. I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't perfect and bitching and just winning. Because I will not-I will not waste my precious time on-on-on-on such ridiculous nonsense.
AA operator #2: This is Alcoholics Anonymous sir.
Charlie Sheen: Yeah.
AA operator #2: Ok. Would you like, uh, for a meeting in your area .. or something? Or how can I help you that way?
Charlie Sheen: Yeah.
AA operator #2: For which area?
Charlie Sheen: I didn't get that text yet, you know?
AA operator #2: You didn't get a text?
Charlie Sheen: Yeah.
AA operator #2: A text for what?
Charlie Sheen: Damn.
AA operator #2: No, I'm serious sir. Is there, uh, uh, a place I can, uh, have you contact .. or have somebody contact you or..?
Charlie Sheen: Yeah. Look what I'm dealing with man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls.
AA operator #2: Ok, your name sir?
Charlie Sheen: Charlie Sheen.
AA operator #2: Ok now, uh, are you even bein' serious or .. what's happening here?
Charlie Sheen: It's all good guy. Quit panicking. You do not have the right to judge me. Boom.
AA operator #2: Now, now is this, uh, just a taping of something or .. is there something I can do for you?
Charlie Sheen: Yeah.
AA operator #2: What?
Charlie Sheen: Here's your first pee test, next one goes in your mouth. No, you won't get high.
AA operator #2: Ok, I'm sorry sir. I'm gonna' have to hang up and let you go and hopefully-
Charlie Sheen: The only thing I'm addicted to right now is winning.
AA operator #2:[*hangs up*]
[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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