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Chris Hansen
ChrisHansen
Chris Hansen

Category

Celebrity Soundboards

Occupation

Dateline NBC correspondent, television personality

Age

53 (2012)

Nationality

American

Residence

Stamford, Connecticut

Spouse

Mary Joan Hansen

Children

2 sons

Chris Hansen (born March 26, 1959) is a correspondent for Dateline NBC. He is the host of the TV show, To Catch a Predator, which, via undercover sting operations, aims to stop pedophiles from soliciting sex from minors on the internet. Generally, an agent will pose as a young adolescent girl (occasionally, a boy is used) and their conversations are monitored and recorded, with the end result being the predator being given an address to come to. Expecting to have sex with a minor, the offender is first greeted by a young-looking undercover agent (who is actually eighteen), and after they leave the room, Hansen emerges, followed by the cameramen. The perpetrator is first offered a seat in the kitchen as the TV host reads portions of the undercover conversations, and attempts to rebuke the offender, who is arrested upon leaving the house. Hansen will often substitute offensive words with "blank," sometimes allowing the censors to bleep words out. As time went along, many would-be predators became familiar with the show, and instantly recognised Hansen the moment he appeared. Knowing full well what happens upon leaving the decoy house, they are reduced to a state of terror, providing a particularly pleasing conclusion to the show.

As Hansen himself represents and exemplifies an effort to eliminate child predation and the sexually repulsive nature thereof, it is rather ironic that excerpts of his program dialogue, frequently that of him reading the aforementioned internet transcripts, have become material for a soundboard of a very perverted nature. For example, the iconic "Can I rape you anally?" line originates from him reading aloud an offender's chat room username, though in prank calls, its intent is far removed from such, and the end result can frequently be a rather irate response, if not leaving a feeling of disgust in the victim. Hansen's soundboard prank calls remain some of the most sexually explicit on the Internet, possibly rivaling even those of the Springfield Pervert in terms of sheer depravity.

In May 2012, the webmaster of Realm of Darkness rediscovered a large number of lost calls he had previously misplaced and began to slowly release them, after reconverting them to .mp3 format. On May 14, one of the earliest Chris Hansen soundboard calls, "Chris Hansen calls a Hotel" by Xaozzz, was re-released.[1]

Hansen's iconic quote, "Why don't you have a seat over there?" has become a highly popular Internet meme in its own right, and 4chan's notorious /b/ channel, known for being spammed with child porn and gore, uses Chris Hansen's image as an inside joke, and still spawns image macros with him.

QuotesEdit

  • "How are you, sir?"
  • "What you up to, today?"
  • "What's going on?"
  • "I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC"
  • "We're doing a story on adults who try to meet kids online for sex."
  • "Do you like anal?"
  • "Can I rape you anally?"
  • "I like rape!"
  • "Do you have a boyfriend?"
  • "Would you like to watch a movie with me with your hand down my pants?"
  • "...Or just no pants. We could be naked all day."
  • "I think I would like to shower with you."
  • "We could do it in the shower, too."
  • "I've done it with a fifteen-year-old before."
  • "Do you want me to spend the night?"
  • "I will come to you and we will get a place for some gay porn films."
  • "You can play with my...penis."
  • "I'd like to meet you and fool around."
  • "Are you up to meeting tonight, hon'?"
  • "Do we need rubbers? Do they hurt?"
  • "Daniel Polito."
  • "I think you probably have a very nice ass, as well."
  • "Can I tease and please your--blank---with my tongue?"
  • "Do you shave down there?"
  • "I'm horny for you."
  • "Would you like to take me in your mouth?"
  • "I might want to cut you a little; suck on your blood, laugh out loud."

Soundboard Prank CallsEdit

ReferencesEdit

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