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Crazy Sick Old Man

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Crazy Sick Old Man
Current depiction of C.S.O.M.


Prank Call Victim, Victim Soundboard


Security guard, place unknown


claims to be in his 70s








unknown (possibly deceased or divorced)



Jim the Crazy Sick Old Man (last name unknown) was a victim who originated from a prank call that featured Al Pacino, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Chinaman.[1] He is a tough talking and (when enraged) extremely bigoted man who repeatedly threatened the trio with violence, insults, death threats (including breaking their necks and cutting their throats), common profanity, racial epithets and other types of verbal abuse. The Crazy Sick Old Man informed Pacino, Schwarzenegger and the Chinaman that he called the police on them, claimed that he recorded their calls to him and then vowed that he'd make sure they spend the rest of their lives in jail.

Background and characteristicsEdit

In spite of his considerable fame among the Soundboard Prank Call community, there is technically not much known about this victim. In the original prank call, which first surfaced online in March 2009, he reveals that he has been employed as a security guard at an unknown place for 45 years (starting around 1964), hates foreign people, has nothing to do with $6,000 or cars, and that he's a very sick man and he's in his 70's. The Crazy Sick Old Man also has a high affinity for insulting or threatening the welfare of a family member; for example, he told Schwarzenegger to "take [his] Cadillac and shove it up [his] wife's ass! She's a fuckin' whore!". He also claims that his home is "full of sick people", which could possibly refer to a mental institution or retirement home, and seems to have caller I.D. on his phone, as he repeatedly said that he recorded Pacino, Schwarzenegger and the Chinaman's conversations.

A second call to this victim was made with his own soundboard, along with some calls by Duncan and the Black Guy (call from Black Guy currently lost), but did not reveal any new information about him, except that he also dislikes African-American people.

The "Old Man" has never mentioned what his last name is in prank calls made to him (although he indicates his first name is Jim in the first call by Pacino), and is known to the prank call community as either the "Crazy Sick Old Man" (or simply "Crazy Old Man" and "Sick Old Man"), "Angry Old Man" or "Racist Old Man", possibly due to his continual use of racial slurs, death threats and other bad behavior, and the fact that he claims to be sick and in his 70s.


  • "You got the wrong buddy, idiot."
  • "Number one, don't threaten me, I'll break your freakin' neck. Number two, you got the wrong Jim: I'm not...have nothing to do with cars. So what you need to do is, apologize, number one. Number two, change your damn attitude, 'cause one of these days, you're gonna get ahold of somebody and then you're gonna meet that person and they're gonna break your freakin' neck. So, goodbye, sir. Make sure you get the right person next time."
  • "You've got the WRONG person. I have nothing to do with Cadillac...or six thousand dollars or anything else."
  • "FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! Son, I'll hunt you down and I'll break your neck. You call here again...! This house if full of sick people. You call here again and I'll fuckin' hunt you down and I'll break your stinkin', motherfuckin' neck!"
  • "Get off my phone, leave me alone! You goddamn old crotchety prick, fuckhead!"
  • "Come say that to my face! Come say that to my face, you wrinkled piece of SHIT! Come say it to my face! I'll KILL YOU you cocksucker!"
  • "I'm gonna kill you!"
  • "Go to hell, you PRICK!"
  • "Listen to me...YOU'RE THE ONE WHINING YOU STINKIN', GODDAMN ACCENTED PRICK!!! YOU FUCKING FOREIGNER!!! Go home! We hate you here in America! GO HOME!!! GO HOME!!! WE HATE YOU HERE!!! You goddamn people that can't even speak unbroken English! GET OUT!!! GET OUT!!! Take your Cadillac and shove it up your wife's ass! She's a fuckin' whore!"
  • "Who the fuck are you again, you cocksucker??!"
  • "Look here, you piece of shit, come the phone company being open tomorrow, I'm gonna find your fuckin' ass, and then I'm gonna KILL your fuckin' ass. I was so sick yesterday, well you kept up your calls, you kept up your calls...well, I've already turned over three different phone numbers that popped-up to the police department and to the phone company. Ya call here again and so help me God, when they find out who it is, I will PERSONALLY cut your throat!"
  • "Leave me alone you piece of FOREIGN FUCKING GARBAGE!!!"
  • "Do not call this number again you piece of SHIT! I will make sure you spend your life in jail! I'm a very sick man and I'm in my 70's! Ya keep this up and I' help me God, I'll make sure you're jailed. Leave this phone number alone! And shove your Cadillac up your ugly wife's ass."
  • "Your mother's out fucking niggers right now! She's out sucking nigger dick!"
  • "Your goddamn mother is out fucking UGLY...UGLY syphilitic niggers.'You act like your mother is a fucking nigggg-eerrrrrarrrhhh."'"
  • "Now you sounds like a nigger! Are you a nigger? Are you a NIGGER?" - in a mocking Southern accent
  • "Maybe your mommy and daddy was a nigger dick!" - in a mocking Southern accent
  • "You go to hell you piece of slimy shit! Why don't you get back on the slave boat and get in your chains? And this time, we'll make sure you're dropped down to the bottom of the ocean with your ugly fuckin' nigger face, eatin' little shit on the bottom of the ocean!"
  • "I'm ripping your throat out, disgusting piece of fuckin' high-pitched-voice garbage. You're a fuckin' dick-slime goddamn FAGGOT is what you are..... stay outta my life you piece of SHIT!" - responding to his own voice
  • "You... are a COCKSUCKER! You are a... BLIGHT! You are everything that is wrong this world! You're a COWARD, who calls on the telephone, and rattles off all this shit- I would love to have my hands on your throat right now!"

Prank CallsEdit

Date Title Caller Victim Notes Ref.
2009 Al Pacino & Arnold Schwarzenegger call a Crazy Sick Old Man Chuko Crazy Sick Old Man Original call. [1]
2009 Crazy Sick Old Man calls Himself Chuko Crazy Sick Old Man [2]
N/A Crazy Sick Old Man calls a Repairman TheGoldenPhone2 Male victim [3]
N/A Crazy Sick Old Man calls a Pissed Off Couple Lost call
N/A Crazy Sick Old Man and Duncan call an Auto Parts Store [4]
N/A Prank Mix 2 (The Yeller, Crazy Sick Old Man, D&A Lady, etc) [5]
N/A Crazy Sick Old Man RAMPAGE! Mr88Nismo Various [6]
N/A [SBCallingYew] Mixed Callz 3 SBCallingYew [7]
N/A Calls to the Yankee Tough Guy, Part 1 Total Redial Yankee Tough Guy [8]
May 21, 2009 Racist Redneck, Pot, and crazy sick old man calls Elelisrael [9]
October 30, 2009 Crazy Sick Old Man calls Cadillac ZickPranks Female victim [10]
April 20, 2011 Sue, cookies guy, crazy sick old man and peggy make some follow up calls Randmanq Male victim [11]
April 29, 2011 The Crazy Sick Old Man and Arnold calls Lea Suicidalfish7 Female victim [12]
December 17, 2011 Crazy Sick Old Man calls Jim CrazyHermit Male victim [13]
December 23, 2011 Crazy Sick Old Man and the Harlem Barber call a New Jersey barber show CrazyHermit [14]
February 29, 2012 Crazy Sick Old Man calls a Boxing Club CrazyHermit Male victim [15]
February 29, 2012 Soundboard Fail Rampage CrazyHermit Male victim [16]
May 5, 2012 Crazy Sick Old Man Craiglist Rampage CrazyHermit Various [17]
May 8, 2012 Crazy Sick Old Man Prank Calls Laughpranks [18]
May 18, 2012 Crazy Sick Old Man Calls Black Guys Laughpranks [19]
November 23, 2012 LONGEST prank call ever, IBM calls a porn shop the fourth time Tom0900060 Porn Shop Whigger [20]
December 5, 2012 Crazy Sick Old Man calls Guruaid Reginald Fitzpatrick Indian Scammers [21]



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