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Drug & Alcohol Lady, AA Guy and Jesus Lady call an Angry Mother & Son
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

EFM

Soundboard(s) used

Drug & Alcohol Lady, AA Guy, Jesus Lady

Victim

Angry Mother & Son

Length

9:44

The Angry Mother & Son were prank called by the Drug & Alcohol Lady, the AA Guy and the Jesus Lady.

TranscriptEdit

(Phone rings)
Angry Son: Hello?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Hello?
Angry Son: Hello?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: What's the problem?
Angry Son: One second. Excuse me?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: You're--no, something's the matter here.
Angry Son: Who is this?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: You called before and called the other operator a bitch and everything, now this has got to stop.
Angry Son: What?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Why are you calling under Drug & Alcohol?
Angry Son: Excuse me?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Same how the same fuckin' numbers, I don't know what you're talking about because you're callin' Drug & Alcohol, ain't nobody callin' you.
Angry Son: Yeah, who is this and what the fuck are you talking about?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: This is ANS Roofing?
(The son does not answer because, judging from the noise in the background, his mother is taking the phone from him)
Angry Mother: Hello?
AA Guy: Yes, hi.
Angry Mother: May I help you?
AA Guy:Now, sir, there's two things I can do for you: I can direct you to an AA meeting in your part of town. Or I might be able to try to get somebody that could call you and perhaps talk to you.
(The Angry Mother & Son can be heard arguing in the background)
Angry Mother: Am I talking to a human or a machine?
AA Guy: That's a good--very good question, sir.
Angry Mother: Sir?
AA Guy: (Laughs) I'm from New Jersey, originally.
Angry Mother: May I help you with something, sir?
AA Guy: I'm trying to keep my phone line open for people that I can help.
Angry Mother: Who are you and why do you have this number?
AA Guy: This is a job interview?
Angry Mother: I can't hear you, you need to get off the speaker phone and quit laughing with your fuckin' friends.
AA Guy: (Laughs)
Angry Mother: If you want to talk to somebody, you talk to somebody. Otherwise do not call this number again, or I will call the police.
Angry Son: Who the fuck is this? I wanna know right fuckin' now who the fuck this is, 'cause they're fuckin' dead.
AA Guy: Do you have me on speaker or something?
Angry Son: Excuse me?
AA Guy: Oh, okay, cause it's difficult to hear you.
Angry Son: What about drugs and alcohol now?
AA Guy:Now, sir, there's two things I can do for you: I can direct you to an AA meeting in your part of town. Or I might be able to try to get somebody that could call you and perhaps talk to you. If you'd like to stop drinking.
Angry Son: I'm not drinking.
AA Guy: Then there's really nothing I can do for you.
Angry Son: Okay--
Drug & Alcohol Lady: (Interrupting) What are you callin' Drug & Alcohol for? Why are you calling under Drug & Alcohol?
Angry Son: Why am I calling? Wh--what do you mean calling?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Do you need to talk to somebody on Drug & Alcohol?
Angry Son: No, I was just discharged from McKinley Hall Honorary Police. What do I need you for? I've been clean for three months. Who the fuck is this?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: You're nuts.
Angry Son: Who is this?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: This is ANS Roofing?
Angry Son: ANS Roofing?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Bring it on, c'mon, you're bein' taped!.
Angry Son: Who is--who is ANS Roofing?
(The Angry Mother takes the phone away from her son.)
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Hello?
Angry Mother:May I--may I ask your name, please?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: This is ANS Roofing?
(The Angry Son can be heard in the background)
Angry Mother: Who are you?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: You called before and called the other operator a bitch and everything, now this has got to stop.
Angry Mother: What has got to stop?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Why are you calling under Drug & Alcoho--
Angry Mother: (Interrupting) Our phone rang here. Nobody--nobody called you! Our phone rang here, and I got some loudmouth on the phone talking about drugs and alcohol, and wanting to give me an AA meeting. What is going on!?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Same how the same fuckin' numbers, I don't know what you're talking about because you're callin' Drug & Alcohol, ain't nobody callin' you.
Angry Mother: Okay, somebody's connected us for some bizarre reason.
Jesus Lady: Who--who are you looking for?
Angry Mother: Or your phone is messed up, or something.
Jesus Lady: Who do you want to talk to?
Angry Mother: Our phone rang here, and when we picked it up, somebody started mouthing off to my son.
Jesus Lady: What's your cellphone number?
Angry Mother: I don't have---this is not a cellphone, this is a home phone!
Jesus Lady: Do you know Jesus?
Angry Mother: This is my land line. Oh, do I know Jesus. You don't want to know how well I know Jesus, how about you?
Jesus Lady: No, you don't.
Angry Mother: You don't wanna go there with me.
Jesus Lady: Just hold on.
Angry Mother: I'll tell you things you've never heard about Jesus.
Jesus Lady:Just hold on.
Angry Mother: What is the sad joke? Are you people that hard up for a good laugh?
Jesus Lady: In the name of Jesus, Lord I take authority over this spirit in this man. Lord I take authority over this spirit, and I command you to be silenced.
(Angry Son is still yelling in the background)
Jesus Lady: You there?
Angry Mother: Yeah, I'm there. And this is not a man.
Jesus Lady: You keep sayin' the same things over and over and over, don't you get tired of hearing yourself?
Angry Mother: (At the same time) This is a woman you're speaking to, and I happen to run this household.
Jesus Lady: The blood of Jesus is against you.
Angry Mother: (at the same time) Are you gonna talk every time I try and talk, or are you gonna listen to me?
Jesus Lady: Huh?
Angry Mother: (Mocking the Jesus Lady) Huh!?
Jesus Lady: The blood of Jesus is against you.
Angry Mother: You need to back down.
Jesus Lady: In the name of Jesus. (After a pause) Hello?
Angry Mother: Hello?
Jesus Lady: You keep saying the same things over and over and over, don't you get tired of hearing yourself?
Angry Mother: Can I ask you something? Ma'am?
Jesus Lady: Yes?
Angry Mother: Why am I on speaker phone?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Why are you calling under Drug & Alcohol?
Angry Mother: No! Why am I on your speaker phone!?
AA Guy: Okay, do you have me on speaker, or something?
Angry Mother: No, you have me on speaker and I can hear it! Why am I on your speaker phone!?
AA Guy: Oh, okay, 'cause it's difficult to hear you.
Angry Mother: Yeah, it's difficult to hear me on the speaker phone!
AA Guy: (Laughs)
Angry Mother: (In the background, to her son) If you don't shut up, I am gonna bust your fuckin' ass. (Gets back on phone) I wanna know why I'm on speaker phone and there are people laughing in the background.
AA Guy: This is a job interview?
(Angry Son continues ranting in the background)
Angry Mother: (To her son) If you don't shut up so I can hear something, I'm gonna bust you, Anthony!
AA Guy: (Laughs)
Angry Mother: Now, answer my question. Why am I on your speaker phone, and everybody's laughing in the background?
AA Guy: Now, there's two things I can do for you: I can direct you to an AA Meeting--
Angry Mother: (Interrupting) NO! I wanna know why I'm on your speaker phone and everybody's laughing in the background! Are you having fun!?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Good, thank you!
Angry Mother: Well, I'll tell you what: you may not know this, but I've had a trace on this number for three weeks because we've been receiving harassing phone calls, and they have got your number and they are coming after your ass!
Drug & Alcohol Lady: Bring it on, c'mon you're bein' taped.
Angry Mother: You're gonna lose your land line, and you're gonna be prosecuted in the Court of Law for harassing me over and over again. Okay?
AA Guy: (Laughs)
Angry Mother: Now, are you happy about that?
Drug & Alcohol Lady: You called before and called the other operator a bitch and everything, now this has got to stop.
Angry Mother: Do you think this is funny?
Jesus Lady: Do you know Jesus?
Angry Mother: You don't get it. I don't care about Jesus right now!
Jesus Lady: In the name of Jesus, Lord I take authority over this spirit in this man. Lord I take authority over this spirit, and I comm--
Angry Mother: (Interrupting) And I got news for you! Jesus is not taking authority over spirits in this day and age. Okay? So, you get all your Pentecostal bullshit, or whatever the hell you call it, because you don't know nothin' about God!
Jesus Lady: The blood of Jesus is against you.
Angry Mother: You don't know anything about Jesus, you have no idea who he is, and if you could read your Bible and let somebody else fuckin' lead you down the route by your nose, then you'd have an idea of what's going on. But you're an ignorant boob. Okay?
Jesus Lady: That's where you live, or that's where you work?
Angry Mother: Police?
Jesus Lady: Yes
Angry Mother: (makes some mocking sounds) Why don't you get the mush out of your mouth?

Jesus Lady: Who do you want to talk to?
Angry Mother: Who do I want to talk to? No, who do you want to talk to?
Jesus Lady: Frank Garrett?
Angry Mother: There ain't no Frank Garrett here! Anybody else I can help you with?
Jesus Lady: Duncan Construction?
Angry Mother: This is not a construction place.
Jesus Lady: The blood of Jesus is against you.
Angry Mother: So pull the needle out of your arm, okay? And get a life!
Jesus Lady: I plead the blood of Jesus, right now, in Jesus' name...
Angry Mother: Because...the police are gonna be coming to your house for making this harassing call. And I'm sure they've got the tap by now, so...we'll see you in court in a week or two, baby! [*hangs up*]

[*End of call*]

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