Fandom

Soundboard Prank Calls Wiki

Duncan's 2 AM Calls

979pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Duncan's 2AM Calls
Duncan2am

Category

Prank Call Series

Prank Caller(s)

Xaozzz

Soundboard(s) used

Duncan

Victims

various people and a police officer

Length

6:08

Audio

Duncan 2am calls

Duncan's 2AM Calls was a series of prank calls by Xaozzz, in which various residents of a town were called and woken up at 2AM with the Duncan soundboard. It ended up getting out of hand after one couple was called several times in a row, resulting in the police showing up. At the time of its original posting, Xaozzz stated that he'd talked to the officer in this call with the Duncan soundboard on a previous occasion, explaining the cop's apparent familiarity with what was happening. This was one of the first new Duncan calls made following the 2008 Duncan Scare. It also spawned a new soundboard, the Confused Old Lady.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

[*Phone rings*]
Black woman: Hello?
Duncan: Hello.
Black woman: Yes?
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett.
Black woman: (tired sounding) Who?
Duncan: Frank Garrett. How are you?
Black woman: (tired sounding) Who are you calling for?
Duncan: Hello. Son of a bitch.
Black woman: I said, who are you calling for?!
Duncan: I don't give a shit.
Black woman: Oh, shut the fuck up, asshole!
Duncan: You stupid cocksucker.
Black woman: [*hangs up*]

Call #2

[*Phone rings*]
Old lady: Hello?
Duncan: Hello.
Old lady: Hello???
Duncan: Hello.
Old lady: Ca--can you speak a little louder, please?
Duncan: HELLO!
Old lady: Who's calling?
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett. How are you?
Old lady: I can't hear you!
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett.
Old lady: (mumbles) L-let me press the button.
Duncan: Do what?
Old lady: J-just a minute, now.
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: T-there! Now can I...I--I can hear---I can hear...
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Alright. I can hear you a little better.
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett.
Old lady: Alright, now who are you?
Duncan: Frank Garrett.
Old lady: Are you...are you Bob?
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Am I...(mumbles a bit) Are you my brother?
Duncan: Yes. That's what I said, yeah.
Old lady: Y-you're my brother.
Duncan: How are you?
Old lady: (mumbles) W-w-where are you calling from?
Duncan: Duncan Construction.
Old lady: (mumbles)
Duncan: Duncan Construction.
Old lady: D-d-did you come all the way...?
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Yes...yeah? And what...? (mumbles)
Duncan: I'm just fine.
Old lady: And...you know...(mumbles) Did you...are you in trouble?
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Huh?
Duncan: Yeah.
Old lady: Are you in trouble some?
Duncan: I'm doin' alright, how are you? I'm just fine.
Old lady: Y-you're alright?
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Then you're alright.
Duncan: I'm havin' trouble hearing ya, I'm on a cellphone!
Old lady: I hope you're alright!
Duncan: Fuck you.
Old lady: Yeah, well...uh... Ev--everybody from...well...everybody has...(mumbles) This is Sat...this is Saturday, isn't it?
Duncan: Do what?
Old lady: Ooooh! Hey! I-I just got a...I just got a...
Duncan: Do what?
Old lady: I got a BrainStrong®.
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Yeah and...and that...well, I figured it...it's...it's...it's Saturday? It's not Sunday?
Duncan: Yeah.
Old lady: Yeah. No, it's not Sunday. So...so what...what not...(mumbles)...yeah, we're not in trouble?
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Yeah. E-everything's alright?
Duncan: Yes. I'm just fine.
Old lady: Is everything...everything's alright?
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Yeah, 'cause, uh...because I...yeah. And...and here I was rushing...well, I-I...(mumbles)...
Duncan: Hey, has your mama still got, uh...worms, crawlin' out her pussy?
Old lady: Wha-where are you calling from?
Duncan: Duncan Construction.
Old lady: (mumbles)
Duncan: Ya stupid motherfucker!
Old lady: Are you...are you back home?
Duncan: Yes.
Old lady: Y-you're back home. Okay.
Duncan: Hey, has your mama still got, uh...worms, crawlin' out her pussy?
Old lady: H-here I was thinkin'...thinkin' that it was...I-I had to go...I had to go to mass. I don't...I don't have to go 'till tomorrow! Yeah! So that's a blessing.
Duncan: Fuck you.
Old lady: Yeah! (chuckles)
Duncan: Did they turn you out of your fuckin' cage again, or what?!
Old lady: (laughs)
Duncan: Fuck you.
[*End of call*]

Call #3

[*Phone rings*]
Man: (groggily) Hello?
Duncan: Hello, asshole! What's happening?
Man: Huh?
Duncan: How are you?
Man: Wrong number.
Duncan: Hey, let me tell ya how I feel: fuck you! Son of a bitch.
[*End of call*]

Call #4
Note: all calls after this point were made to the same number.

[*Phone rings*]
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Woman: You're number's coming up on my thing!
Duncan: Oh, you goddamn stupid son of a bitch, you!
Woman: I'm gonna call the cops now.
Duncan: Don't call me anymore, ya stupid cocksucker!
Woman: I'm sorry you don't have any education...or class.
Duncan: Hey, you stupid son of a bitch, I've never called your house.
Woman: Uh, huh.
Duncan: Oh, fuck you, you ignorant son of a bitch.
Woman: Why don't you guys...jump in bed together...get some sheep or something, or whatever you do...
Duncan: Do what?
Woman: ...and call someone else.
Duncan: Hey let me tell ya how I feel: fuck you!
[*End of call*]

Call #5

[*Phone rings*]
Duncan: Hey, has your mama still got, uh...worms, crawlin' out her pussy?
Woman's husband: Hey, what the hell are you doing?!
Duncan: You stupid cocksucker.
Woman's husband: I'm calling the cops right now, you ignorant person.
Duncan: Well I don't give a shit. Did they turn you out of your fuckin' cage again, or what?! Asshole!
Woman's husband: Making a...phone call right now, buddy.
Duncan: They let your ass out again, you stupid son of a bitch?!
Woman's husband: Have a good one.
Duncan: Oh, fuck you, you ignorant son of a bitch.
[*End of call*]

Call #6 (final)

[*Phone rings*]
Woman: Hello?
Duncan: Son of a bitch.
Woman: Who is this?
Duncan: Asshole!
(long period of silence)
Duncan: HELLO!
(silence)
Duncan: I'm havin' trouble hearing ya, I'm on a cellphone!
(more silence)

Police Officer: Just to let you know, we can trace IP addresses, too.
Duncan: Y-you're out of your mind, buddy! I don't even have a dozer and I don't do dirt work! You stupid cocksucker.
Police Officer: (laughs mockingly) Keep talking! We'll trace it.
Duncan: Well I don't give a shit. This is a business phone, get off of it! Ya stupid motherfucker!
Police Officer: Alright. 'Cause that makes it a federal crime, using telephones...and the internet!
Duncan: Hey, has your mama still got, uh...worms, crawlin' out her pussy?
Police Officer: Yeah, you already said that.
Duncan: Do what?
Police Officer: Keep going.
Duncan: Asshole! Did they turn you out of your fuckin' cage again, or what?!
Police Officer: You must be awful stupid to think we don't record these...prank phone calls.
Duncan: Oh, fuck you, you stupid cocksucker!
Police Officer: (laughs mockingly)
Duncan: Fuck you. This is a business phone, get off of it!
[*End of call*]

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.