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Duncan's Rampage

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Duncan's Rampage
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Victim Prank Call

Prank Caller

Xaozzz

Soundboard(s) used

Duncan

Victim(s)

Stilwell Public Library, Albright's Gun Shop, Toilet Lady, Redneck Bitch

Length

4:40

Audio

Duncans rampage

Duncan is back and ready to unleash some hell! He takes his anger out on his local library among other victims.

This call marked the first use of a greatly-expanded Duncan soundboard, which included for the first time, such now-classic lines as "Hello, asshole!" and "You son of a bitch, I thought you'd died!", among the others that came from Biff Tannen calls a Construction Company. It also marked the debut of the angry Duncan face created by Xaozzz.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

Denise: Stilwell Public Library. Denise. May I help you?
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Denise: Hello??
Duncan: You son of a bitch, I thought you'd died!
Denise: May I ask who's calling?
Duncan: Frank Garrett. You stupid motherfucker!
Denise: Mr. Frank...
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Denise: I think you've been warned about calling our public-
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch, I got you figured out. Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck!
Denise: Charges are currently being charged against you and I think you need to stay off the phone until you know how to use it properly.
Duncan: Hey let me tell ya how I feel: fuck you!
[*call is transferred to another librarian*]
Duncan: They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Karen: I just finished writing up a report for the police.
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch.
Karen: Yeah I know, you're go-, no, you'll go to Hell a long time before I do, Frank.
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch, I got you figured out.
Karen: No, nooo, no Frank-
Duncan: They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Karen: You're not really listen[ing] and your family's not gonna' BUY you out of problem- trouble.
Duncan: You son of a bitch, I thought you'd died!
Karen: So get ready for it. You're gonna' sober up in jail, man.
Duncan: Oh, go to hell!
Karen: Goodbye. [*hangs up*]


Call #2

[*phone rings*]

Gun Shop employee #1: Afternoon. Albright's. May I help you?
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Gun Shop employee #1: Pardon me?
Duncan: How are you?
Gun Shop employee #1: Hello?
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch.
Gun Shop employee #1: Do what?
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck!
Gun Shop employee #1: Who is this?
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett.
Gun Shop employee #1: Ok.
Duncan: You stupid motherfucker.
Gun Shop employee #1: And you're callin' Albright's Gun Shop?
Duncan: That's what I said, yeah.
Gun Shop employee #1: Who is this??
Duncan: Frank Garrett.
Gun Shop employee #1: And you're callin' Albright's Gun Shop?
Duncan: Yeah.
Gun Shop employee #1: And who you want to talk to?
Duncan: I don't give a shit. You stupid motherfucker. [pause] Son of a bitch.
Gun Shop employee #1: [in the background] Hey Tim, do you know somebody named Frank Garrett? Listen to this guy...
Gun Shop employee #2: Hello?
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Gun Shop employee #2: [starts speaking gibberish]
Duncan: Do what?
Gun Shop employee #2: [he and the other employees laugh in the background]
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck!
Gun Shop employee #2: Well come on down. (laughs)
Duncan: They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Gun Shop employee #2: Heh-heh, yeah. Right in front of you.
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch, I got you figured out.
Gun Shop employee #2: So what do you want?
Duncan: Hey let me tell ya how I feel: fuck you!
Gun Shop employee #2: Is that right? You got a quarter? It'll cost ye'. (laughs)
Duncan: Did they turn you out of you fuckin' cage again or what??!
Gun Shop employee #2: Say what?
Duncan: Fuck you.
Gun Shop employee #2: Can you speak english?
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, I'm gettin' tired of your shit!
Gun Shop employee #2: [*hangs up*]


Call #3

[*phone rings*]
Gun Shop employee #2: Albright's Gun Shop.
Duncan: Now listen, you stupid son of a bitch, I never called you before and goddamn it, you...pick about every third day to call me, so fuck you!
Gun Shop employee #2: Say what?
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, I'm gettin' tired of your shit! Son of a bitch.
Gun Shop employee #2: Uh, hey. Uh, I want you to listen to somethin' REAL close.
Duncan: Do what?
Gun Shop employee #2: We've got your phone number, and we've filed a complaint with the telephone company, and you're liable to have the law come knockin' on your door.
Duncan: I don't give a shit.
Gun Shop employee #2: So you just...stick your finger up your nose and...goodbye.
Duncan: Fuck you.
Gun Shop employee #2: [*hangs up*]
Duncan: You stupid motherfucker.


Call #4

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Hello.
Toilet Lady: Yes?
Duncan: How are you? [pause] Hello?
Toilet Lady: Who's on the line, who's making a mess?
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett.
Toilet Lady: Pardon?
Duncan: Frank Garrett. You stupid motherfucker.
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #5

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Toilet Lady: Who the hell is this??!!
Duncan: Did they turn you out of you fuckin' cage again or what??!
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #6

[*phone rings*]
Toilet Lady: Hello?
Duncan: Hello? [pause] You stupid cocksucker!
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #7

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: You stupid motherfucker.
Toilet Lady: Who the hell are you and what do you want?
Duncan: This is Frank Garrett. [pause] They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #8

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, I'm gettin' tired of your shit!
Toilet Lady: If you wanna argue, go in the toilet and argue!
Duncan: Do what?
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]


Call #9

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Now listen, you stupid son of a bitch, I never called you before and goddamn it, you...pick about every third day to call me, so fuck you!
Toilet Lady: I think you have the wrong number!!!
Duncan: Fuck you.
Toilet Lady: [*hangs up*]
Duncan: Asshole.


Call #10

[*phone rings*]
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Toilet Lady's son: Frank, GO TO HELL!
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck!
Toilet Lady's son: Yeah, the cops'll be at your door shortly.
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, I'm gettin' tired of your shit!
Toilet Lady's son: [*hangs up*]


Call #11 (final)

[*phone rings*]
Redneck Bitch: Hello?
Duncan: Hello, asshole!
Redneck Bitch: WHO IS THIS??!
Duncan: Stupid son of a bitch, you! I'm gonna get you one of these days and break your goddamn neck! [pause] This is Frank Garrett.
Redneck Bitch: Well come on out, buddy.
Duncan: They let you out of that nuthouse again, you stupid motherfucker?
Redneck Bitch: I don't know who you're trying to call and get ahold of, but you've got the wrong fuckin' number. Okay?
Duncan: Oh! Go to hell you son of a bitch. [pause] Hey, has your mama still got...uh...worms, crawlin' out her pussy?
Redneck Bitch: So if you wanna call and cuss somebody out, check and make sure you got the right damn number.
Duncan: You son of a bitch, I thought you'd died!
Redneck Bitch: [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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