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Homer Simpson calls Alcoholics Anonymous
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

Realm of Darkness

Soundboard(s) used

Homer Simpson

Victim(s)

Alcoholics Anonymous

Length

3:24

Homer Simpson calls Alcoholics Anonymous to inform the operator that he enjoys being an alcoholic and has no intentions of changing his ways. The woman actually believes that she is talking to a real drunk person, and not a cartoon character.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

[A recorded message plays]
Homer Simpson: Hello? (pause) Yello?
Female victim: Who's calling please?
Homer Simpson: Homer.
Female victim: [Unintelligible]
Homer Simpson: I hate my job.
Female victim: Excuse me?
Homer Simpson: Mmm beer...
Female victim: EXCUSE me?
Homer Simpson: Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is MY way of life and I aim to keep it!
Female victim: Are you an alcoholic?
Homer Simpson: (laughs)
Female victim: Are you an alcoholic?
Homer Simpson: D'oh!
Female victim: Or are you just a crackpot?
Homer Simpson: D'ooooh!
Female victim: Are you just a crackpot? You sound like somebody who's got, uh, too much time on their hands to me.
Homer Simpson: I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night!
Female victim: Well do it then! Hey Alcoholics Anonymous isn't for everybody. If you want to drink beer and stay out, out all night do it.
Homer Simpson: Ah, the hell with this.
Female victim: Everybody gets a choice. AA's just for people that want it. You don't sound like-
Homer Simpson: OH MY GOD!
Female victim: What?
Homer Simpson: More...more...MORE!
Female victim: It sound to me like your don't want AA. It sounds to me like you wanna drink. If you wanna drink .. I say more power to ya. Go to it.
Homer Simpson: (groans)
Female victim: I say go to it! Go have yourself a ball.
Homer Simpson: I am gay.
Female victim: Well that's ok too! Be who you are.
Homer Simpson: Mmm beer...
Female victim: Be who you are!
Homer Simpson: Ohhh..oh baby...
Female victim: It's- you know what? It sounds to me like you'd be better off in an AA meeting though than talking to me.
Homer Simpson: Am I turning you on?
Female victim: I wouldn't say so no.
Homer Simpson: (laughs)
Female victim: It sounds to me like you'd be better off going to an AA meeting. You're probably just some ordinary guy, like a businessman, in a white shirt and a suit who just wants to try to shock somebody-
Homer Simpson: Shut up.
Female victim: -but is just too chickenshit-
Homer Simpson: Shut up.
Female victim: -TOO CHICKENSHIT to do it-
Homer Simpson: Aw crap!
Female victim: -so he calls up somebody on the phone, so he can be anonymous, and let some kind of stupid ranting off his brain .. and he doesn't have to expose himself.
Homer Simpson: You want the truth? You want the truth!? You can't handle the truth!
Female victim: [Unintelligible]..get it from you. Quite frankly-
Homer Simpson: Jerkass!
Female victim: You don't sound like you have access to the truth.
Homer Simpson: Come on. I dare ya!
Female victim: You don't sound like you have access to the truth to me. You sound like you're just a guy that wants to show off.
Homer Simpson: My God, you're greasy.
Female victim: [Unintelligible]
Homer Simpson: If you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!
Female victim: [Unintelligible]..recorded. We've got you recorded.
Homer Simpson: Boring!
Female victim: Yeah, we've gotcha recorded.
Homer Simpson: Maybe it's the beer talking but you got a butt that won't quit.
Female victim: You sound like a crackpot to me. You sound like some guy whose got, uh, too much time on his hands and, uh, maybe is wonderin' .. what uh .. what to do with his, with his time and his brain.
Homer Simpson: Aye-aye Captain.
Female victim: You need to get a sponsor.
Homer Simpson: Boobies.
Female victim: You need a sponsor! If you wanna know where an AA meeting is I can tell ya that.
Homer Simpson: (screams)
Female victim: Where would you like to go? W-which part Montgomery are you in?
Homer Simpson: (groans)
Female victim: I can't sit here and [unintelligible].
Homer Simpson: Ah, the hell with this. Oh yeah drugs, ya gotta have drugs.
Female victim: Oh well .. if, if that's your bag, do it.
Homer Simpson: Uh huh... Lousy Democrats.
Female victim: Hey whatever your bag is. AA's not affiliated with any politics or religion
Homer Simpson: (screams) D'oooh!
Female victim: [*hangs up*]
Homer Simpson dam

ReferencesEdit

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