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Joe Pesci calls a Virginia Hick
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

Realm of Darkness

Soundboard(s) used

Joe Pesci

Victim(s)

Female victim

Length

3:29

Joe Pesci harasses a woman from Virginia who threatens to put a .22 between his eyes.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

[*phone rings*]
Female victim: Hello?
Joe Pesci: I've been tryin' to reach you, you're tougher to get than the President.
Female victim: Huh..?
Joe Pesci: Yeah...least you could do is return my phone calls, though.
Female victim: Who is this?
Joe Pesci: JT.
Female victim: Who's JT?
Joe Pesci: I think I want my money back.
Female victim: ...for what?
Joe Pesci: What if I was just to kick the ever-lovin' shit out of ya?
Female victim: (pause) Well now...well come right ahead and try it.
Joe Pesci: Where the fuck you get off talkin' to people about me behind my back, goin' over my head?
Female victim: I'd LIKE to know who you are.
Joe Pesci: What people would ya think, you think I wasn't gonna find out?
Female victim: (talking in the background) Who do you think you're talkin' to?
Joe Pesci: You said I'm bringin' heat on you? I gotta listen to people because of your fuckin' shit?! You're orderin' me out?! You better get your own fuckin' army, pal!
Female victim: Do you know that you're being taped?
Joe Pesci: You're fuckin' warned: don't ever go over my fuckin' head again! You motherfucker, you!
Female victim: Go fuck your mother!
Joe Pesci: WITHOUT ME...YOU, PERSONALLY...
Female victim: GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
Joe Pesci: ...EVERY FUCKIN' WISEGUY WOULD TAKE A PIECE OF YOUR FUCKIN' JEW ASS! THEN WHERE YOU GONNA GO?!
Female victim: You better prove what you're sayin'.
Joe Pesci: I could use a good ass-kickin', I'll be very honest with ya'.
Female victim: You could use a what?
Joe Pesci: No further questions.
Female victim: ...
Joe Pesci: What the fuck is your problem?
Female victim: I'd like to know who you think you're talkin' to.
Joe Pesci: If you're actin' like this now, how can I depend on you?
Female victim: Who ARE you? What .. who do you WANT?
Joe Pesci: You like to renegotiate as you go along, huh?
Female victim: Who do you think you're talkin' to?
Joe Pesci: Are YOU Mr. McAllister?
Female victim: MISTER McAllister? I don't believe so.
Joe Pesci: The Mr. McAllister who lives here? (pause) You hear me or what?
Female victim: You said McAllister.
Joe Pesci: I'M WHAT COUNTS OUT HERE. NOT YOUR FUCKIN' COUNTRY CLUBS OR YOUR FUCKIN' TV SHOWS!
Female victim: Are you out of your mind?
Joe Pesci: Yeah.
Female victim: I thought so.
Joe Pesci: I'm a lawyer.
Female victim: I don't give a SHIT if you're a judge.
Joe Pesci: Is it possible that two separate cars could be driving a Michelin model XGV 75R 14s?
Female victim: I don't think so.
Joe Pesci: I believe that you and Lisa played a game of pool together for $200 which she won. I'm here to collect.
Female victim: Who's Lisa?
Joe Pesci: I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning, I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and...if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fuckin' head wide open right in front of everybody in the bank.
Female victim: And when you start to crack my head open you'll find a God-damned .22 between your eyes.
Joe Pesci: What happened to the fuckin' tough guy who told my friend to stick it up his fuckin' ass? Fucker.
Female victim: Who's there with you? (referring to the screaming victim in the background)
Joe Pesci: Be fuckin' nice.
Female victim: Let me talk to who's with you?
Joe Pesci: Who the fuck knows?
Female victim: (talking in the background) Well somebody's there. I can hear them.
Joe Pesci: You know, I'm tryin' to put something really big together out here...you know what I'm talkin' about? Huh? You know?
Female victim: Do you know that I am 74 years old, and I sit here and I mind my own God-damned business?
Joe Pesci: No, no, no, no, no.
Female victim: No, no, no, what?
Joe Pesci: Ok, ok...
Female victim: [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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