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Original Prank Calls to the Satanic Racist

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Original Prank Calls to the Satanic Racist
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

Unknown

Soundboard(s) used

Asian woman, Life Coach, Epic Crazy Lady's Husband

Victim(s)

Satanic Racist

Length

10:47

TranscriptEdit

Call #1
(Phone rings)
Satanic Racist: Thank you for calling, how may I help you?
Asian woman: Okay, can I ask you one question?
Satanic Racist: I'm sorry?
Asian woman: Why are you bugging me?
Satanic Racist: Why are what?
Asian woman: You called me, why did you do that to me?
Satanic Racist: Honey, no I haven't called anybody, this is a business. What can I do for you?
Asian woman: Why are you bothering me?
Satanic Racist: Who are you tryin' to call, honey?
Asian woman: Why you want to know that?
Satanic Racist: I just wanna know who you've been fuckin' you dirty skank.
Asian woman: What you got a problem?
Satanic Racist: Yeah, I got a problem with you.
Asian woman: Well who you are?
Satanic Racist: Who you are?
Asian woman: Why you call me you bother me that way?
Satanic Racist: Why you call me 'bout that way?
Asian woman: Okay, can I ask you one question?
Satanic Racist: Maybe, Maybe not. Well, what do you want? Why are you calling me?
Life Coach: Hello, ain't nobody called you man, you know who you callin'?
Satanic Racist: I didn't call anybody, you called me!
Life Coach: You need to find yourself some to play with bro, or else you get your neck broke.
Satanic Racist: Uh, ya know what, here; as a matter of fact why don’t you give me your address nigger, and you know what we do to niggers. We put them in jail, nigger
Life Coach: You aint got nothing else to do man
Satanic Racist: [unintelligible] nigger, where you at nigger?
Life Coach: You the cocksucker cuz ya got nothin’ else to do. God bless ya cracka!
Satanic Racist: No, no….. No I’m just gonna make sure ya go to jail nigger, and then get your ass kicked in that cage while rosebud process (?)
Life Coach: I’m havin’ a serious conversation with you man.
Satanic Racist: You aint havin’ shit with me, nigger
Life Coach: Where ya from? Where ya at? “Where you at?”
Satanic Racist: [gives location – bleeped]
Life Coach: Where you at? [unintelligible]
Satanic Racist: [gives location again – bleeped] Where you at, nigger?
Life Coach: you, your number don’t…. you aint even got no phone number, you got that 000 BS 123 phone number like you on a calling card or something.
Satanic Racist: Ya know what those…. Ya know what those cops are gonna do?
Life Coach: What?
Satanic Racist: They're gonna lock your ass down so god damned fast that your fuckin’ god damned black will come off your ass.
Life Coach: Man, whatever…
Satanic Racist: You’ll go into that fucking cage lookin’ like a pink rabbit.
Life Coach: Man, whatever. God bless ya cracka!
Satanic Racist: Eh, ya know what? God aint gonna bless you, he shit all over you and he gonna keep doing it.
Life Coach: You go do that to yourself
Satanic Racist: That’s why they call you niggers.
Life Coach: You go do that to yourself.
Satanic Racist: Eh, I don’t have to do shit to myself. I’m white and I got plenty of money.
Life Coach: You will get knocked the fuck out, I aint playin’ with ya man!
Satanic Racist: What’s your fuckin’ excuse, nigger? Where you staying at tonight? Where you staying at nigger?
Life Coach: You will get knocked the fuck out, I aint playin’ with ya man!
Satanic Racist: Yeah, go fuck yourself nigger.
Life Coach: Don’t call this phone no more, unless you're prepared to say who you are or where you're at.
Satanic Racist: Ya know what, I’ll send some dark energy right up your fucking ass!
Life Coach: If I knew where you were at, you’d be in a whole buncha danger, bro. Believe that.
Satanic Racist: You know voodoo, you ever hear of Santeria, mother fucker?
Life Coach: you, your number don’t…. you aint even got no phone number, you got that 000 BS 123 phone number like you on a calling card or something
Satanic Racist: ya know what, when ya cross the street and get run over by a bus and live, you can call me back.
Life Coach: will get knocked the fuck out, I aint playin’ with ya man!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Ya know something? I don’t know who in hell you think you are you black sumbitch, but I aint called your fucking house, you fucking nigger!
Life Coach: Man whatever, what?
Satanic Racist: [*hangs up*]

Call #2
Satanic Racist: Just a sec….. [imitates demonic noises]
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Ya know something? I don’t know who in hell you think you are you black sumbitch, but I aint called your fucking house, you fucking nigger!
Satanic Racist: Ya know what, nigger? All ya gotta do is give me your address.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You fucking nigger.
Satanic Racist: That’s all you are nigger, you’re a nigger lover.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You piece of shit!
Satanic Racist: You got niggers up in there, probably more than you can get.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I’m gonna come kill you nigger.
Satanic Racist: You can't even get any white pussy, can you? You can't, can you pussy?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Ya know, I’m about tired of your god damned calling me, I’m recording. Or else the phone company’s recording
Satanic Racist: Why doncha just go ahead and give me your address, cocksucker. I got so much juice I bet I could have your ass arrested on 16 ficticous charges in less than 5 minutes, you fucking faggot! But ya know what, your such a coward….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Well you’ll give a shit when they find out who you are “bitch”
Satanic Racist: Eh, your such a coward mother fucker, you can’t even call without blocking your number……. Pussy….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: None of your damned business and kiss my ass!
Satanic Racist: Your such a fuckin’ pussy, that’s why you hang out with niggers, doncha? No….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You fucking nigger!
Satanic Racist: I’ll cut your god damned throat, that’s what I’ll do. And ya know what, I got two or three cops here to help me do it. Ya know how things work here doncha?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You piece of shit!
Satanic Racist: And ya know what, they’ll lock your sorry mother fucking ass up! So gimme your address, mother fucker.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Look you sumbitch, if I find out where your at your fucking dead!
Satanic Racist: Ya know what, I’ll tell you right now where I’m at, mother fucker just so I have the luxury of you coming
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Bitch, id be right over there.
Satanic Racist: So ya got your pen and paper? I know you probably can’t right
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Yeah
Satanic Racist: But ya know what, get that nigger to write for me and I’ll give you the address, mother fucker.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Ya know something?
Satanic Racist: No I know, mother fucker; I told you to write the god damned address down, that’s what I know mother fucker, but I know you’re a pussy and you won’t do it! But ya know what? Right it down.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Okay, just about 2.2 seconds, “bitch!”
Satanic Racist: 2.2 seconds you fucking cocksucker!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You fucking nigger.
Satanic Racist: As soon as you get here, we’ll introduce you tohow things really work
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Yeah
Satanic Racist: mm-hmm…
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Can ya hear me?
Satanic Racist: Yeah, I hear you ya fucking nigger lover.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK, you fucking nigger.
Satanic Racist: Nigger lover!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You piece of shit.
Satanic Racist: Yeah, you must be really bored and ya know what I only have….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I don’t know who in hell you think you are you black sumbitch, but I aint called your fucking house, you fucking nigger!
Satanic Racist: Here, Here’s the address mother fucker. Here, here’s the address, pussy!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: And ya know ya keep talking to me a little longer…. Ya know power of the internet is a wonderful fucking thing! I’ll trace this fucking number. And ya know what
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: ya know, I got a trace on my phone and it’s tracing your fucking name, bitch
Satanic Racist: Ya know what, I’ll give you my name, pussy!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Keep on talkin’ cuz were tracing the call.
Satanic Racist: Pussy…… And it doesn’t take but 60 seconds and ya know what, your so god damned fucking poor…..
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Just about 2.2 seconds “bitch!”
Satanic Racist: You don’t have enough fucking money to buy fucking milk for nigger babies!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK, you fucking nigger
Satanic Racist: You don’t have enough money to buy nigger babies.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: What?
Satanic Racist: That’s all you do, you got some little fucking nigger. Ya know what? Maybe immigration oughta come and visit your ass too.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I don’t know who you are calling me, cussing me
Satanic Racist: [does mocking imitation of ECLH’s last statement] mother fucker. I’ll beat your god damned head in and fucking have eggs with brains for breakfast.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I don’t know who you are
Satanic Racist: [mocking laugh] ya know what, ya got my number
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: And each calls being recorded by the phone company, so asshole, you’re the one going to be an asshole, not me; so don’t call me back!
Satanic Racist: Ya know what, you called me mother fucker.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: [mocking imitation] Awlright….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Look you sumbitch, if I ever find out where youryou’re your fucking dead!
Satanic Racist: I told ya, I’m in Chicago! [the latter revealing his location was cut from the call, though still shows up on Soundboards], ya got a pen and a paper? Where you at mother fucker? Where you at mother fucker?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: None of your damned business and kiss my ass.
Satanic Racist: [mocking imitation] none of ma business, kiss ma ass, cuz you’re a fucking pussy… Cuz ya know why? Cuz you know deep down in your heart there are some really nasty mother fuckers that live in this world, and I happen to be one of them. After I fucking beat your god damned brains in, I’ll fucking god damned rape your old lady and stick a god damned white baby up in her fucking nigger pussy. And then I’ll beat her like a god damned red headed step child and then have her sent off to jail
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: May God bless you and you have a good day
Satanic Racist: And then you know what I’ll do, I’ll laugh about it… I laugh about it….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I don’t know who you are
Satanic Racist: I laugh about it. I’m so fucking dark and mean you mother fucker, I’ll rip your god damned guts out of your fucking asshole. And wrap them around your god damned neck.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: Here’s the address mother fucker
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You a god damned dick sucker, you know what?
Satanic Racist: Eh…. Here’s the address mother fucker. You got the “heart” to come….. write the address down! I got mother fuckers that work for me that will just fucking enjoy beating the shit out of you!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: [mocking imitation] Awlright….. Awlright….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: How you spell that? How you spell that?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Huh?
Satanic Racist: H-H… Here’s the address, mother fucker
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Yeah
Satanic Racist: [mocking imitation] Yeah…. Swear to God, buddy. I’ll fucking beat you, and your mother fucking kids if you ever call me back. Test my resolve….. I’ve been in the fucking escort business and I’ve got more whores than Carter’s got Liver pills working for me and more favors than Jesus. I will come and rip you outta your god damned house with your fucking kids in there!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Ya know something? Someone’s gonna put you in the ground, if I find out who you are.
Satanic Racist: No, I’ve already been in the ground; I’m a fucking Devil mother fucker. I’m a fucking devil. You got no fucking clue….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: What?
Satanic Racist: You got no clue, Dawg!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Who you talking to?
Satanic Racist: I’ll fucking mix….. I’ll mix your god damned eyeballs in a god damned bowl of grapes and eat them mother fuckers and be happy to do it!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I aint called your house
Satanic Racist: Yeah you did mother fucker
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You call me?
Satanic Racist: If you ever call me again, I’m gonna come get your ass and I’ll make your god damned kids watch it.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: I’ll fucking make you cry.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You fucking nigger….
Satanic Racist: I’m gonna make you cry…. Call me one more time, I promise you, [slowly] I will fucking…… make you cry… I promise you
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: I will fucking make you cry…..
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I aint called you, Lady so I don’t know who you are….
Satanic Racist: Now I- Now I know who the fuck you are, now; so just dial my number one more time!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I don’t know who you are.
Satanic Racist: Well, isn’t that a shame; I guess that’ll make you sleep a little less uncomfortable knowing that I know who you are now, mother fucker and you know me; but you talking that shit about tracing me? All kinds of shit, but mother fucker you talk [unintelligible]
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Calls are being recorded so you just keep on, we know where your at!
Satanic Racist: Yeah…. How much longer you need mother fucker? How much longer you need?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Just about 2.2 seconds bitch
Satanic Racist: Oh…… 1, 2, 3 guess you know now, doncha mother fucker? 2.2 seconds; is that like the hot thing to say now, mother fucker?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Just about 2.2 seconds bitch
Satanic Racist: Is, is that you’re IQ? 2.2 [laughs]
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Yeah…
Satanic Racist: I think that maybe on the high side; coming for ya now mother fucker! Coming for ya, and I’m gonna hurt you, your family.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Yeah…
Satanic Racist: And I’m gonna make ya watch it, I’m coming for ya. Ya wonder what the fucking devils like? You’re gonna get to meet him.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Your “Where?”
Satanic Racist: What? Ya got a pen out, can ya write?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Yeah…
Satanic Racist: Cuz I’ll give you my address gladly
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: [gives address – bleeped] ya know how to spell [bleep], I bet your mother fucking retarded ass can’t even spell it.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Huh?
Satanic Racist: [mocking imitation] Huh?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: What?
Satanic Racist: [gives address again – bleeped] and you want the Zip code so you can’t key into that fucking GPS that you don’t have?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Yeah…
Satanic Racist: [gives Zip – bleeped]
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: Believe me, we’ll see you when you come. You aint driving no fucking car belongs in this town, you don’t even have to honk. How longs it gonna take you to get here, mother fucker?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Just about 2.2 seconds bitch
Satanic Racist: [mocking imitation] Yeah, 2.2 seconds, bitch
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: “Bitch”, I’d be right over there!
Satanic Racist: mm-hmm…. [laughs]
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You a god damned dick sucker, you know it? You piece of shit
Satanic Racist: Im gon-I’m gonna take you dick, I’ll cut it off and stick in your god damned ole lady’s ass and sow it shut.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Well you’ll give a shit when they find out who you are, “bitch!”
Satanic Racist: [high pitched voice] I just told ya where I live, “bitch!”
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: And each calls being recorded by the phone company, so asshole, you’re the one going to be an asshole, not me; so don’t call me back!
Satanic Racist: I call ya anytime I want, and what are gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Somebody’s gonna blow your shit away, If I find out who you are!
Satanic Racist: No….. No, they aint gonna blow my shit away.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Yeah
Satanic Racist: But ya know what, you’re a pussy and ya can’t whenever I find….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: I’m gonna come kill you nigger!
Satanic Racist: Yeah well come on, I’m waiting on you, mother fucker.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Your where? Bitch, I’d be right over there.
Satanic Racist: [mocking imitation] Where? Yeah, well let me tell you one more time.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: You fucking nigger!
Satanic Racist: You retarded mother fucker.
Black Guy: Fuck you!
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: OK
Satanic Racist: [gives address – bleeped]
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Huh? Can you hear me? I said who is this!
Satanic Racist: Your worst fucking nightmare.
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Hello?
Satanic Racist: You can call me Lucifer….. My friends call me Lou….
Epic Crazy Lady’s Husband: Someone’s gonna put you in the ground, if I find out who you are.
Satanic Racist: [*hangs up*]

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