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Peter Griffin calls a Beauty Saleswoman
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

Chugboat

Soundboard(s) used

Peter Griffin

Victim(s)

Female victim

Length

4:34

Peter Griffin calls a Beauty Saleswoman is a soundboard prank call made by Chugboat on November 26, 2009. Peter Griffin calls a Beauty Saleswoman and refuses to give his address when asked in several different ways.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

[*phone rings*]
Female victim: Thank you for calling Youthology. For proper handling and quality assurance this call will be recorded. May I continue?
Peter Griffin: Perhaps.
Female victim: And are you calling to take advantage of the Youthology wrinkle removing eye serum with your free-
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Female victim: Ok, great. And your zip code?
Peter Griffin: Uhh, no...
Female victim: What's your zip code?
Peter Griffin: No!
Female victim: Uh, your mailing address?
Peter Griffin: Nooo!
Female victim: But did you want to, uh, order this, sir?
Peter Griffin: Yes.
Female victim: Ok. Now to order this I need to be able to get your mailing address to get it to you.
Peter Griffin: Aw, gay!
Female victim: Uh, do you have any mail that you can get your mailing address off of?
Peter Griffin: Uhh, no...
Female victim: Umm, do you KNOW your mailing address?
Peter Griffin: No.
Female victim: Is there anybody that you can talk to that knows it?
Peter Griffin: Perhaps.
Female victim: Ok. Well, you could, um, find somebody that could give you your address information then we could get this sent to you.
Peter Griffin: No way. It's too dangerous!
Female victim: What's too dangerous?
Peter Griffin: GENITAL WARTS! (giggles) Hellooo..?
Female victim: Hello?
Peter Griffin: Hello?
Female victim: Hello.
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Female victim: So I need to be able to get your mailing address to be able to help you.
Peter Griffin: What?!
Female victim: If you wanted to order this?
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Female victim: Yes. So if you can, uh, give me your zip code?
Peter Griffin: Oh, that's right! How inappropriate of me.
Female victim: And what's your zip code?
Peter Griffin: Uhh, uh .. uh uh, pee ... uh uh uh ... tear ... uh uhhh (sound of gryphon flying by) gryphon. Yeah yeah, Peter Griffin.
Female victim: Is that your name?
Peter Griffin: Yup. You got it.
Female victim: Ok. And Peter Griffin what is your zip code to where you live?
Peter Griffin: Uh, I-I don't, uh- I can't, uh ... what?
Female victim: Your ZIP code?
Peter Griffin: Uh, noo...
Female victim: Or your mailing address? Do you have, uh, wha-what address do you live at?
Peter Griffin: What are you talkin' about?
Female victim: 'Cause if you're callin' to ORDER something we need to SEND it to you. So we need somewhere to send it to.
Peter Griffin: Wait, hold on a second. Guess where I'm calling from?
Female victim: Where?
Peter Griffin: A plane!
Female victim: A plane?
Peter Griffin: Yup.
Female victim: Wow! But even if you're callin' from a plane you probably live somewhere.
Peter Griffin: Really?
Female victim: So you live somewhere?
Peter Griffin: Uh, noo...
Female victim: Oh, you don't?
Peter Griffin: No.
Female victim: Ok...so do you ever have to get mail?
Peter Griffin: (laughs) No! I think it's awful and I don't care for it at all my good sir!
Female victim: Ok. So wha-what do you want me to do for you, sir?
Peter Griffin: I have something to tell you.
Female victim: Ok.
Peter Griffin: I'm not quite sure how to say this...I'm fat. Let me give you a minute to absorb that. That's the way it is. It's nobody's fault. But I've decided to do something about it!
Female victim: Ok.
Peter Griffin: Yup.
Female victim: And what are you gonna do?
Peter Griffin: Twins! Swedish. My place. Now!
Female victim: Um, I don't get it sir.
Peter Griffin: Oh, I know just how you feel, pumpkin. I've had my share of disappointments, too.
Female victim: Umm, now b- I'm selling you Youthology and this is an eye serum that goes around your eyes to help with wrinkles. Is this what you're lookin' for?
Peter Griffin: Perhaps.
Female victim: Umm, so the only way I can get it to you is if you have an address or a-
Peter Griffin: Aw, gay! (pause) I'm sorry.
Female victim: Ok. So if you want to call back when you have an address let me know. Ok?
Peter Griffin: Wait! Please! Please! I-I gotta say something!
Female victim: What?
Peter Griffin: I wanna sing a little song that, uh kept me goin' when I had troubles. (Peter starts playing The B-52s' "Rock Lobster" on an acoustic guitar) We were at the beach. Everybody had .. matching towels! Somebody went under a dock. And there they saw a rock! But it wasn't a rock ... it was a rock lobster! (continues playing) Rock Lobster! (continues playing) ROCK LOBSTER! (giggles) Alright.
Female victim: Ok, thank you for calling. You have a great day.
Peter Griffin: Bye!
Female victim: Bye. [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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