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Peter Griffin calls a Weight Loss Center
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

AntiVenom9808

Soundboard(s) used

Peter Griffin

Victim(s)

Weight Loss Center

Length

6:40

Peter Griffin calls a Weight Loss Center attempting to sign up. This also includes some bonus calls at the end.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

Female victim: Hello. Thank you for contacting Jenny Craig's Service. How may I help you?
Peter Griffin: Hellooo.
Female victim: Hello.
Peter Griffin: How's everybody doin'?
Female victim: Not too bad.
Peter Griffin: I have something to tell you. I'm not quite sure how to say this...I'm fat. Let me give you a minute to absorb that. That's the way it is. It's nobody's fault. But I've decided to do something about it! I think it's awful and I don't care for it at all my good sir!
Female victim: Can I ask who's calling?
Peter Griffin: Chris.
Female victim: Can you spell it for me?
Peter Griffin: No!
Female victim: Is this-
Peter Griffin: Hello?
Female victim: Are you, are you phoning for Jenny Craig's program?
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Female victim: Ok. And, uh, have you been to the center before?
Peter Griffin: Uh, no.
Female victim: Ok. Hold on one second please.
Peter Griffin: Uh, ok.
Female victim #2: Hello.
Peter Griffin: Hello?
Female victim #2: Hello. Um, can I get your phone number please?
Peter Griffin: Perhaps...
Female victim #2: Your phone number?
Peter Griffin: What are you talkin' about?
Female victim #2: Could I get your phone number so I can call you?
Peter Griffin: What?! Really?
Female victim #2: Really.
Peter Griffin: Cool. Cool. Does that mean I don't gotta' pay?
Female victim #2: It it gonna' help if you pay?
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Female victim #2: Uh-huh. I don't really understand what, what you're getting at.
Peter Griffin: Sorry, I still haven't gotten over the loss of Party of Five. It'll take some time to get over it. Now what were you saying?
Female victim #2: Uh, can I get your phone number please?
Peter Griffin: Yes. Peter Griffin!
Female victim:I'm sorry but I think this is a prank phone call and I'm not going to continue on with this conversation. [*hangs up*]

Call #2

[*phone rings*]
Stephanie: Thank you for calling [unintelligible] Fitness in Surrey. This is Stephanie speaking. How may I direct your call?
Peter Griffin: Hello?
Stephanie: Hi.
Peter Griffin: Who is this?!
Stephanie: Stephanie.
Peter Griffin: I-I'm sorry. Come again?
Stephanie: Stephanie.
Peter Griffin: No it's not ringin' a bell. Sarah...
Stephanie: Ok.
Peter Griffin: How's everybody doin'?
Stephanie: Good...
Peter Griffin: Uh, good, good, good, yeah, yeah.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Peter Griffin: What's up?
Stephanie: (laughs) Nothing. Who is this?
Peter Griffin: He-hey it's Peter Griffin.
Female victim: Hello?
Peter Griffin: Hello.
Female victim: Hi.
Peter Griffin: Hey you guys! What's up?
Female victim: Nothing. What's going on with you?
Peter Griffin: You know, if I wasn't so sure that you were a lesbian I'd say your coming onto me
Female victim:(pause) ..he just said that? [*hangs up*]

Call #3

[*phone rings*]
Stephanie: Thank you for calling [unintelligible] Fitness in Surrey. This is Stephanie speaking. How may I direct your call?
Peter Griffin: GENITAL WARTS! (giggles)
Stephanie:[*hangs up*]

Call #3

[*phone rings*]
Lindsey: Thank you for calling [unintelligible]. My name is Lindsey. How may I direct your call?
Peter Griffin: Oh, that's right. How inappropriate of me.
Lindsey: Sorry?
Peter Griffin: I know just how you feel, pumpkin. I've had my share of disappointments, too.
Lindsey: (slightly annoyed) Disappointments in what?
Peter Griffin: You ever stare up at the night sky and wonder if someone might be lookin' back at ya?
Lindsey: (in the background) It's just- it's like an audio thing. It's just someone pushin' some buttons.
Peter Griffin: Well, excuse me for being retarded!
Lindsey: (in the background) It's Peter Griffin, actually. That's what I thought. (laughs)
Peter Griffin: Whore, slut, bitch!
Lindsey: (laughs) [unintelligible]
Peter Griffin: Yeah, you like that, don't you? Yeah, it's okay. It's okay to like it. It's very natural.
Lindsey: (laughs) [unintelligible]
Peter Griffin: Ok. Good.
Lindsey:[*hangs up*]

Call #4 (final)

[*phone rings*]
Carol: [unintelligible] Carol speaking. How can I help you?
Peter Griffin: Hello?
Carol: Hello?
Peter Griffin: Hey you guys! How's everybody doin'?
Carol: Well, thank you.
Peter Griffin: Uh, good, good, good, yeah, yeah. Who is this?!
Carol: Who's this?
Peter Griffin: Chris.
Carol: Chris?
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Carol: Chris, how can I help you?
Peter Griffin: I have something to tell you.
Carol: What's that?
Peter Griffin: I'm not quite sure how to say this...I'm fat. Let me give you a minute to absorb that.
Carol: Pardon me?
Peter Griffin: That's the way it is. It's nobody's fault. But I've decided to do something about it!
Carol: Your fit?
Peter Griffin: No!
Carol: I'm sorry I don't- are you, are you a member with us?
Peter Griffin: Uh, no.
Carol: Well h-how can I help you?
Peter Griffin: I have something to tell you.
Carol: Are you looking to get a membership?
Peter Griffin: Yes.
Carol: Yes?
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Carol: Ok. And, um, would you like me to put you through to a consultant?
Peter Griffin: Yup.
Carol: Give me one second. Can I put you on hold please?
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Carol: So, umm...Chris wha- is it a C-H-R-I-S?
Peter Griffin: Yes!
Carol: And what's your phone number Chris?
Peter Griffin: I-I'm sorry. Come again?
Carol: What's your phone number?
Peter Griffin: No, it's not ringin' a bell.
Carol: No what's your phone number?
Peter Griffin: Alright.
Carol: Can I put you on hold for a second?
[*Another woman picks up the phone*] Courtney: Hi. This is Courtney speaking.
Peter Griffin: Hello.
Courtney: Hello?
Peter Griffin: I'm fat. I think it's awful and I don't much care for it at all my good sir!
Courtney: Ok. I'm going to hang up now. Thank you. [*hangs up*]


Bonus Call #1

[*phone rings*]
Male victim: Joe's Barbershop.
Peter Griffin: You know, if I wasn't so sure that you were a lesbian-
Male victim: [*hangs up*]
Peter Griffin: -I'd say your coming onto me.


Bonus Call #2

[*phone rings*]
Kerri: For Your Eyes Only. Kerri speaking. How can I help you?
Peter Griffin: Hello?
Kerri: Hello?
Peter Griffin: Who is this?!
Kerri: Ohh, please don't start this with me.
Peter Griffin: You know, if I wasn't so sure that you were a lesbian I'd say your coming onto me.
Kerri: Do you not have a life?
Peter Griffin: Well, excuse me for being retarded!
Kerri: Well you ARE retarded.
Peter Griffin: Whore, slut, bitch!
Kerri: Ha ha, I like that one!
Peter Griffin: Yeah, you know what? To hell with you, then. Yeah, go to hell. Go to hell.
Kerri: (laughs) Are-are you gonna' put this on YouTube again?
Peter Griffin: Yeah.
Kerri: Yeah right.
Peter Griffin: Yup.
Kerri: Have a nice day. [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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