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Quotes of Fred "the Bail Bondsman" Herbert.

QuotesEdit

  • "Bail Bondsh."
  • "Yeeeessh".
  • "Yessshh."
  • "Noooooh."
  • "Waaoww!"
  • "Shxushe me?!"
  • "Fred Herbert.."
  • "Is thizh Gregory Stevensh?"
  • "I'm Fred Herbert and I'm a bail bondshman."
  • "My name's Fred Herbert, I'm a bail bondshman! What, what'sh going on here?!"
  • "Why are you, why are you doing thish?"
  • "Why are you doing thish, sir?"
  • "You're talking to my plant!"
  • "Chew fuckey nasshole!"
  • "Thish ish actually MY voicesh!"
  • "Why are you acting like this?"
  • "Jusht shay 'Hi Fred'..."
  • "Why are you sho mad at me!?"
  • "I, I, I don't understand why you're sho mad at me shir."
  • "Erh, jusht becaushe John read the resheipt wrong to you....you're gonna...you're gonna act this way? Is thish your way of...getting out of your responsibilitiesh? Is thish the way you act?!"
  • "We got along fine. Are you taking shome kind of drugsh or drinking?"
  • "You and I've got along fine and I don't know why.. thish ish.. happening."
  • "I'd like to talk to Carrie.. to shee if I can make any shense out of thish. "
  • "I, I've been, I, I've, I've erh, I've been, I've had 30 callsh today, from.. and, and erh.. that I'm calling shomebody. I'm not calling anybody!"
  • "You call me five or shix timesh here, and.. I, I haven't called you. Are you, are, ish your phone ringing and you think it's me!?"
  • "I know you're a better gentleman than thish, shir."
  • "Don't call your househ anymore."
  • "OK Gregory Stevensh, Bye.."
  • "What'sh happening shir?"
  • "Why am I doing 'what' shir?"
  • "I apologiseh to anything that happened."
  • "And who is thish?"
  • "I.. I'm anshwering!"
  • "I've jusht told you!"
  • "General officer?"
  • "Calling where?"
  • "Come to my offish!"
  • "Who am I calling shir?"
  • "I'm not doing anything."
  • You're the one calling me.. acting shtrange."
  • "And your name again ish?"
  • "You have the wrong number!"
  • "What number are you calling us back at shir?"
  • "A-are you the gentleman that my phone is ringing? Or shomethin?"
  • "This is Gregory Stevensh!? I, I'm sorry.. What??"
  • "Wh-why the strange phone call? What'sh going on with you?"
  • "STOP THESE ANNOYING PHONE CALLSH!!!" (to a soundboard of his own voice)
  • "Sir, I don't know who in the fuck you are. Goodbye."
  • "Well, if it's the sheriffsh department, come to my officsh. Because I've been been getting theseh crappy phone calls from theseh people for two days!"
  • "You know what? I've been getting callsh all day long, that I'm calling shomebody and I'm not calling anybody!"
  • "I'M NOT CALLING ANYBODY!!"
  • "OK. I, I'm not sure. I, I know one Gregory Shtevensh, who ish a black gentleman, whose shon never paid me..(!) Ish that, ish that you..?"
  • "I, I, I'm not shure whether it's the 7-sixh-0 number.. or.. the.. erh.. the other number that I've given to you."
  • "Thank you."
  • "I didn't call you, shir."
  • "Hey, you know what, you fucking asshhole? I've got your phone number and I'm going to wring your fucking neck!"
  • "Talk 'til you're fucking hoarseh, asshhole."
  • "A-are you mentally ill?"
  • "I'm shorry, this is whom?"
  • "What can I do for you?"
  • "I don't know who in the fuck you are!"
  • "Shir, do you want to give me your name and number and I'll give it to the policesh?"
  • "They called about 50 timesh yesterday, so..."
  • "Just say 'Hi, Fred!' and I...I'll know this ishn't a recording."
  • "Say 'Hi, Fred'."
  • "I just wanna make sure it wash really you."
  • "You're a...voicesh-over IP line?"
  • "I just put my phone and thisshhh..."
  • "You prick..."
  • "Pardon me?"
  • "I do what?"
  • "Huuhh?"
  • "Uh huh."
  • "Theseh are the kind of fucking idiotsh I have to put up with."
  • "Can you hear me?"
  • "Did I call Frank Garrett?"
  • "What do you want!?"
  • "This is a Chrissshhhh"
  • "Are you ashking for Mike?"
  • "He ish not here!"
  • "Where are you in jail?"
  • "WHERE YOU IN JAIL?!"
  • "Where ish your brother in jail?"
  • "Which jail ish he in?"
  • "WHICH JAIL?"
  • "What'sh your booking number?"
  • "What'sh your name and number?"
  • "You're the shame guy that you told me you're in jail..!"
  • "Take your childishh butt and go some place!"
  • "Thish ish a.. that'sh.. shomebody pranking me.."
  • "I'm away from the phone.. Leave me a messhage, and I'll give it right back to you." (telesecretary)
  • "You know what? Who ever you are.. quit calling me."'
  • "Well if you don't know, then, then thish ish BSh"
  • "Probably got an IQ of about ONE."
  • "Hang on just a shecond."
  • "Hang on.."
  • "How are you?"
  • "Just fine."
  • "Hello?"
  • "Alrighty?"
  • "Who is thish?"
  • "Thish is Fred."
  • "Goodbye.."
  • "Then you again idiot?!"
  • "Goho! heh." (laughing)
  • "Co'ho'wards.." (laughing)
  • "And thish ish a recording."
  • "Upland Policesh Department"
  • "Eldorado shec!? Hello?"
  • "Who are you?"
  • "We're not calling you."
  • "I'm afraid thish ish a prank call."
  • "So what'sh going on?"
  • "I think thish ish a recording..."
  • "Yesh, I'm getting pranked..!"
  • "I know exactly who you are."
  • "Is thish really you?"
  • "Mmmhmm.."
  • "Hmm-Hmmm.."
  • "NOUGH!"
  • "Boy.. Shick.."
  • "You.. guysh.. are.."
  • "JEEESUSh Christ..!"
  • "QUIT CALLING!!!"
  • "This is the kind of ShHIT..!"
  • "TWEEEEET!!!" (whistle)
  • "Turn on the TV!" 
  • "I'm shorry, who?"
  • "I.. erh.. Who did I call!?"
  • "When did I call you?"
  • "Ohh I did??"
  • "Whhhy?"
  • "Correct."
  • "YEeEsSs!"
  • "Is thish a Joke?"
  • "Thish ish miss Childs?"
  • "Your phone number Greg?"
  • "I'm shorry, what did you say?"
  • "Did I shay anything when I called?"
  • "Maybe thish ish you-hou-hou-hou-hou."
  • "Well, because thish goes on all the time."
  • "Are you calling me now or ish thish a prank?"
  • "Becausesh I've, I, I've gotten prank callsh from you before, becausesh I'm getting pranked."
  • "I get these callsh all day long from.. erh.. a prankshter and I jusht got one a little while ago, so.."
  • "In fact I don't know whether I'm really talking to you or a recording."
  • "I.. there.. I'm on Youtube and they prank call me all the time."
  • "I got a call from you and it wash a recording and you were getting your, you were in a-A hair shalon and your hair wash wet.. Do you remember that?"
  • "Am I talking to you; say yesh.. SAY YESh"
  • "We've been getting theseh prank calls for a couple of yearsh now."
  • "We've reported theseh prank calls to the policesh department but nobody is helping ush."
  • "If you can figure out who'sh doing thish we'd sure like to get rid of them. They've been doing thish to us for sheveral yearsh now."
  • "I don't undershtand thish, not completely."
  • "I wash frushtrated with them."
  • "Listen to thish.."
  • "Theseh are the callsh I'm getting, conshtantly."
  • "Can I get shome help, pleasesh?"
  • "The FBI really needs to be called on thish."
  • "There ish shome shick motherfucker on the phone.."
  • "There ish shome shick person out there that'sh doing thish."
  • "They're probably recording ush right now adding to their, uhh... shtuff."
  • "What i you, are you, erh.. you having fun?"
  • "Why don't you get a bottle and go shit under a tree?"
  • "All I hear is like.. dawwllsh or shomething?"
  • "Is thish a Joke.. or are you calling me?"

Edited LinesEdit

  • "Who am I fucking sir?"
  • "Why are you fucking Carrie?"
  • "Don't fuck Carrie anymore.."
  • "Why are you taking drugs?"
  • "I'm Fred and I'm a plant!"
  • "I'm Fred, I'm mentally ill."
  • "I'd like to talk to.. Gregory Stevensh."
  • "I know you're a fucking asshole, sir."
  • "And your name again is fucking asshole!"
  • "I, I, I don't understand why you're mentally ill, sir."
  • "I, I, I don't understand why.. is.. Carrie.. so mad at me sir?"
  • "Why.. is.. Carrie.. doing this, sir?"
  • "I've been drinking 13 drinks today."
  • "I've been, I, I've, I've erh, I've been, I've had, I, I've, I've had, I have been taking some kind of drugs or dirinking."
  • "I know one gentleman who is a fucking asshole."
  • "Erh... Just because John fucked your asshole... You're gonna- you're gonna act this way, is this your way of getting out of your responsibilities, is this the way you act?"
  • "Fuck you-hou-hou-hou-hou."
  • "You.. guys.. are.. fucking assholes.."
  • "I've got your phone number and I'm going to fuck your fucking neck..!"
  • "I sure would like to put an end to Gregory Stevens".
  • "I sure would like to fuck Carrie".
  • "This is Bail Bondsh Police Department".
  • "I'm afraid this is a prank call... I'm making them." 
  • "I fuck Carrie all day long, and I just fucked Carrie a little while ago, so..."
  • "I fucked Carrie thirteen times today and I fucked Carrie about 50 times yesterday, so..."

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