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Richard Simmons calls another Richard
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

Unknown

Soundboard(s) used

Richard Simmons

Victim(s)

Richard's wife

Length

1:40

Richard Simmons calls another man named Richard, who happens to be out, but the man's wife answers and Richard reveals his true fantasies about her husband.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

Richard's wife: Hello?
Richard Simmons: Well hello!
Richard's wife: Yeah?
Richard Simmons: Good morning. How are you?
Richard's wife: Pretty good, uh, good.
Richard Simmons: I want to talk to you about sausage.
Richard's wife: About what?
Richard Simmons: ...I'm so sorry.
Richard's wife: Who is this?
Richard Simmons: Hi. My name is Marilyn.
Richard's wife: Marilyn?
Richard Simmons: Yes! I want to talk to Richard.
Richard's wife: Richard's not here.
Richard Simmons: I love Richard's warm balls.
Richard's wife: Richard's not here right now. You want me to have him to call ya'?
Richard Simmons: Yes! Because I've hopped on hundreds of sausage. Richard's a giant at 7 inches and over 500 pounds.
Richard's wife: (gasps) Wha-who in the hell is this, anyway?
Richard Simmons: My name is Marilyn.
Richard's wife: What Richard are you talkin' about?
Richard Simmons: Richard was swollen. He sat on the sausage with me and told the audience how tough it is to milk my warm balls.
Richard's wife: [*hangs up*]


Call #2

[*phone rings*]
Richard's wife: Hello?
Richard Simmons: I know what its like to be swollen and hard, Richard.
Richard's wife: RICHARD is not here! I told you!
Richard Simmons: Oh my God!
Richard's wife: I don't want you callin' me anymore, ok?
Richard Simmons: Well that's YOUR problem!
Richard's wife: It IS my problem damn it if you keep callin' me.
Richard Simmons: My nuts, they get a little numb sometimes, and I get this tingling.
Richard's wife: It sounds like you're a fag.
Richard Simmons: My goodness!
Richard's wife: I'm getting angry.
Richard Simmons: Guess I'll just have to play with your nuts.
Richard's wife: You're not gonna' play with shit. You're gonna' be in jail.
Richard Simmons: I'll call back in an hour.
Richard's wife: Quit callin' here! [*hangs up*]
Richard Simmons: Richard, please! Help me milk my pickle!


Call #3 (Final)

[*phone rings*]
Richard's wife: Hello?
Richard Simmons: Please don't hang up the phone again.
Richard's wife: Well, I'M GONNA' HANG IT UP YA' QUEER! I'm hangin' up!
Richard Simmons: Oh my God!

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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