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Robert DeNiro & Joe Pesci call a Redneck‏‎
Telephone ringing twn

Category

Prank Call

Prank Caller

Metalboss44

Soundboard(s) used

Robert DeNiro
Joe Pesci

Victim(s)

DeNiro Redneck

Length

5:51

Robert DeNiro calls a Redneck to ask him a few questions, however when the man insults Mr. DeNiro and disconnects the call, Joe Pesci gets involved.

TranscriptEdit

Call #1

DeNiro Redneck: RV Park.
Robert DeNiro: Hello.
DeNiro Redneck: Hello?
Robert DeNiro: Damn. Well how are ya'?
DeNiro Redneck: Pretty good. How are you?
Robert DeNiro: Can I ask you something?
DeNiro Redneck: Sure can. It's 5:30 in the morning. Go ahead.
Robert DeNiro: Yes...are you a pothead?
DeNiro Redneck: No, but your momma was.
Robert DeNiro: What?!
DeNiro Redneck: Your MOMMA was.
Robert DeNiro: You stupid son of a bitch, YOU JUST BLEW IT! (slight pause) Don't bullshit me. I don't like it.
DeNiro Redneck: Well too bad. Come and see me.
Robert DeNiro: Have you ever SMOKED pot?
DeNiro Redneck: Come and SEE me.
Robert DeNiro: Hey, you better fucking back off, man! Ya' got that moron?
DeNiro Redneck: I'll show you where it is.
Robert DeNiro: You know how upset I am about this? I'm so fucking enraged I don't know what to do with myself!
DeNiro Redneck: DUDE, come and see me.
Robert DeNiro: Cut the crap. Don't waste my time!
DeNiro Redneck: [*hangs up*]

Call #2

[*phone rings*]
DeNiro Redneck: Hey fuckhead. You call again and I'm comin' to see you.
Robert DeNiro: You make one more move on me you motherfucker I’ll fucking cut your fucking balls off I’ll shove them up your fucking ass, I’ll fucking bury you-
DeNiro Redneck: Hahahahahaha!
Robert DeNiro: -I’ll put ice picks in your eyes, I’ll chop your fucking eyeballs, I’ll send them to your fucking family so they can eat them for dessert!
DeNiro Redneck: Thank you dude. You know-
Robert DeNiro: Who's this?
DeNiro Redneck: -I'm getting everything on recording here so I appreciate that.
Robert DeNiro: Who's this?
DeNiro Redneck: You are a, you are a, you are a sick motherfucker.
Robert DeNiro: Can I ask you something? Don't waste my time!
DeNiro Redneck: Do you know who you're even calling?
Robert DeNiro: Damn.
DeNiro Redneck: Do you know what area code you're even coming into?
Robert DeNiro: Yes of course.
DeNiro Redneck: You're a whacko son-on-a-bitch in my mind.
Robert DeNiro: Ya' got that moron?
DeNiro Redneck: [Unintelligible]
Robert DeNiro: You know how upset I am about this? I'm so fucking enraged I don't know what to do with myself!
DeNiro Redneck: Go ahead and blow yourself. You're an IDIOT. [*hangs up*]


Call #3

[*phone rings*]
Joe Pesci: What if I was just to kick the ever-lovin' shit out of ya?
DeNiro Redneck: You better bring it to me.
Joe Pesci: You know, I think you got the wrong impression about me.
DeNiro Redneck: No I don't have a wrong impression.
Joe Pesci: What happened to the fuckin' tough guy who told my friend to stick it up his fuckin' ass?
DeNiro Redneck: I'm comin' to get you. I'm comin' to get you and you won't even know it.
Joe Pesci: Yeah...least you could do is return my phone calls, though
DeNiro Redneck: Bye. [*hangs up*]


Call #4 (final)

[*phone rings*]
DeNiro Redneck: RV Park.
Joe Pesci: I've been trying to reach you. You're tougher to get than the president.
DeNiro Redneck: Hey, your still fucked up!
Joe Pesci: You're gonna tell me something today tough guy.
DeNiro Redneck: I got .. I got your momma here.
Joe Pesci: That's your problem, pal.
DeNiro Redneck: Hahahaha...
Joe Pesci: You shit-kicking, stinky, horse-manure-smellin' motherfucker you.
DeNiro Redneck: Hey! I got people lookin' for you now.
Joe Pesci: [Unintelligible]
DeNiro Redneck: They're in New Jersey. Right there, right by Maryland, D.C. They're aft- they want to come to TALK to you.
Joe Pesci: You said I'm bringin' heat on you? I gotta listen to people because of your fuckin' shit?! You're orderin' me out?! You better get your own fuckin' army, pal!
DeNiro Redneck: Partner you got, you've got heat that's gonna' be there in the morning, in the middle of the night, you've got heat that's gonna come on you something terrible. In fact, your goddamn ass oughta be burnin'!
Joe Pesci: I'll be there in the morning, you can fuckin' try me, fatso! You fuckin' try me!
DeNiro Redneck: Because I heard you've been talkin' it in the ass quite a bit lately anyway.
Joe Pesci: You know, I think you got the wrong impression about me.
DeNiro Redneck: Or in the mouth, I'm sorry. Well, either way. It doesn't make a difference. Once a shithead, always a shithead.
Joe Pesci: GET THIS THROUGH YOUR HEAD,YOU JEW MOTHERFUCKER! YOU ONLY EXIST OUT HERE 'CAUSE OF ME!
DeNiro Redneck: Huh?
Joe Pesci: I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do.
DeNiro Redneck: Cool.
Joe Pesci: For instance, tomorrow morning, I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank, walk in and see ya and...if you don't have my money for me, I'll crack your fuckin' head wide open right in front of everybody in the bank.
DeNiro Redneck: (sarcasticly) Right on, your money SHOULD be there right now.
Joe Pesci: You said I'm bringin' heat on you?
DeNiro Redneck: You havn't even SEEN heat.
Joe Pesci: I've been trying to reach you. You're tougher to get than the president.
DeNiro Redneck: What's wrong? You can't dial the fuckin' phone?
Joe Pesci: What the fuck is your problem?
DeNiro Redneck: What in the hell's wrong with you scumbag?!
Joe Pesci: You like to renegotiate as you go along, huh?
DeNiro Redneck: Negotiating? There's no negotiatin' done.
Joe Pesci: If I was in your situation, I'd want to get through this whole thing as quickly, and with as little pain as possible.
DeNiro Redneck: Well I'll tell you what. There should be!
Joe Pesci: C'mon peabrain. (laughs)
DeNiro Redneck: Because within, within' about three hours you will find out.
Joe Pesci: You're SICK, you know that?
DeNiro Redneck: I know. So was your momma but I loved her.
Joe Pesci: Hold on peabrain.
DeNiro Redneck: Aaah!
Joe Pesci: May I do the thnking please?
DeNiro Redneck: Huh?
Joe Pesci: What if I was just to kick the ever-lovin' shit out of ya?
DeNiro Redneck: Uh, you better, you better bring your lunch brotha.
Joe Pesci: If I was to kick the shit outta ya, do I get the money?
DeNiro Redneck: Kick the shit outta me? How many people you, how many people you bringin' boy?
Joe Pesci: YOU KNOW I GET CALLS FROM BACK HOME EVERY FUCKIN' DAY, THEY THINK YOU WENT BAT-SHIT?!
DeNiro Redneck: Boy? Boy! Boy!!
Joe Pesci: And just about the time I'm coming out of jail-
DeNiro Redneck: Boy! Boy! Idiot! Idiot! Garbage? Hey garbagehead!
Joe Pesci: -hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what?
DeNiro Redneck: Garbage? Garbage?
Joe Pesci: I'll split your fucking head open again.
DeNiro Redneck: How many people you bringin'?
Joe Pesci: Cause I'm fuckin' stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail.
DeNiro Redneck: Oh I know that, believe me. Stupid? No, no, I know stupid people and believe me you're not that good.
Joe Pesci: C'mon, let's go!
DeNiro Redneck: [Unintelligible]
Joe Pesci: Hey, you fat Irish prick, you put my fucking money to sleep! You go get my money or I'll put your fucking brains to sleep!
DeNiro Redneck: I hope you bring somebody with you.
Joe Pesci: You're fuckin' warned: don't ever go over my fuckin' head again! You motherfucker, you!
DeNiro Redneck: Well baby I tell you what. You know what you ned to do? You are a PSYCHO. You are fuckin' nuts!
Joe Pesci: 'Cause I'm fuckin' stupid.
DeNiro Redneck: You need to get yourself some serious help.
Joe Pesci: Alright.
DeNiro Redneck: I'll tell you what. The best thing that would help you would be a .357 though your mouth!
Joe Pesci: Ok, ok... (slight pause) I gotta meet Clean Face right away, what about the Chez Paris?
DeNiro Redneck: Ok just ... bet on it. It'll come in a second.
Joe Pesci: You know, maybe we should spend a couple of minutes, you know, to get aquainted before we uh, you know, before we get to it.
DeNiro Redneck: Bubba, I'm sittin' here in Ohio right now so you let me know. I'm in Cleveland so .. I'll be there. B-be, be, be there or be square! One of the two.
Joe Pesci: You know, I'm tryin' to put something really big together out here...you know what I'm talkin' about? Huh? You know?
DeNiro Redneck: Bring it down.
Joe Pesci: If you're actin' like this now, how can I depend on you?
DeNiro Redneck: Not on the phone you don't.
Joe Pesci: There's a lot of things gonna change out here. And if you wanna be there with me-
DeNiro Redneck: I want to see you, and I wanna see you in person.
Joe Pesci: You know, I think you got the wrong impression about me.
DeNiro Redneck: The biggest thing is I wanna see you in your dress. I understand you dress up pretty good.
Joe Pesci: (laughs) You're SICK, you know that?
DeNiro Redneck: I know. That, that's what, that's what your folks told me.
Joe Pesci: I guess you could say that. I could use a good ass-kickin', I'll be very honest with ya'.
DeNiro Redneck: Hahaha hahaha. You take care bubba. Bye
Joe Pesci: I'll be there in the morning, you can fuckin' try me, fatso! You fuckin' try me!
DeNiro Redneck: [*hangs up*]

[End of call]

ReferencesEdit

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